and woman and her God...

We are still having those "days" as we adjust to Willie being in heaven and not here with us. Today we said yet another goodbye to a sweet soul. Again, I watched in amazement as our community poured out love on a family mourning the loss of their wife, momma, nana, daughter, sister and best friend...

She was obviously loved by so many and her family is too! She shared something with Willie...and I heard it today again...she was a GOOD person...kind and generous, compassionate and motherly...GOOD to the very core of her being...but that is NOT what has given her family the comfort they have...she knew Jesus...in a very real and very personal way...and that my sweet friends is the hope she had and that her family will cling to in the coming days!

I would share her name but it doesn't matter...most of you reading this know who I'm speaking of and if not the Lord knows her by name...I watched in amazement as her brother shared the gospel today and I'm praying that lives who are lost were changed today...not because of her...but because of her LORD!

One of the most courageous (thank you Josh for that word!) things I've ever witnessed was her son singing today flawlessly...I've been amazed at that all day long...and while I was working this afternoon it hit me how he did it...Scott asked him today at the cemetery how he did it and he said I just tried not to think to much...but I think he was able to do it b/c he was worshiping the Lord! Have you ever experienced that...watching in awe as someone is obviously worshiping in spirit and in truth? That is what we witnessed today...a holy moment...from a son...honoring his momma...and FOR HIS LORD...

Someday when my times comes...I want people to walk away from my celebration service knowing they meet with the Lord...

May those of us left...carry on the work...

Happy Father's Day

Before I start this post...they will not all be in order...that being said...to the men in my life...

The first man in my life is my Dad...he worked hard to make a living for us...we have had our share of pain and heart ache but we have come so far! I think we have finally reached a place where we know we need each other and we are learning to know one another better! Dad, thanks for all you've done for me over the years...just so you know...I wouldn't change a thing! I love you Dad!

For Tucker...the next man in my life who has loved me like his own...kept me out of trouble with mom in the early years and loved my kids! You've allowed us all the honor of watching you transform into the man of God you are now...Thank you for loving us when I know we weren't always easy to love! I love you Pawpaw!

For Harold who has also loved me like his own...you too have set an example of a loving Godly man...life wouldn't be the same without you in it...I'm thankful for you more than I say and I want you to know how much you mean to me...I love you Harold!

For Michael...while he is yet to be a dad...he has been my little man in my life and as he has grown he has stepped up to his dads boots and takes care of this momma when she needs an extra shoulder to lean on...can't wait to see what kind of a dad he will be...amazing I'm sure!

For Willie...ugh...we miss you more than words can say...I look in Scotts eyes and see a reflection of who you were as a young man...as you taught your sons what it meant to work hard...love you family and love the Lord...I think tonight I may be most thankful for you because you and Linda raised the man I have now...you planted seeds that God has grown...and the world is a better place because of this man I call mine...that you raised! Tomorrow will be sad without you...looking at cards today was yucky because you should be getting one...but know this...we will be rejoicing as we worship the Lord in the morning...knowing that you have the honor and the privilege of being in the presence of the One True Father...what a Father's Day for YOU...we love you Pops!

and finally for my sweet loving husband...thank you for loving me when no one else would have...for walking beside my healing process...for holding my hand...for opening my car door...for not just being the father of our kids...but for being their daddy...for being my best friend...for loving me at my fattest...and encouraging me on this journey without belittling me...for loving Jesus like no one I've ever witnessed before...for allowing me the honor of watching this transformation the Lord continues to do in your life...for sharing Jesus even in the dark days of losing your own dad...for praying when the words were almost more than you could grown...for being you...I love you!

God gives good things...

What a week of emotions! We are not done yet...but we have come up for air for just a little bit! When we lose people we love we are reminded again of 2 things I think...how short life is...and how much we take one another for granted if we don't be careful!

This week we lost my father in law...a man who has spent his life...serving the Lord and serving others...first and foremost his family...but in the middle of our grief God gave a special day of celebration as another family starts their new and fresh. Michael finally got his girl!

I've been looking thru their wedding pictures this morning and came across this one and I am still amazing that God trusted me to be their momma!

They all are a blessing to my life...as a group...but then, as individuals, who have a place that only that ONE can fill...I think at times each one of them has felt maybe they didn't fit...some because of birth order, some because of distance...some because they didn't add up to what they thought they were suppose to be...and yet as I stare at this picture and think...how would I be able to take a breath in the morning if one of them was not there...you each have your dynamic you bring to what makes us...us! Cassie brings the hand on the shoulder that attempts to steady us all...not that she can because that only comes from the Lord...but she tries...I remember last year when she was still in FL and Heather lost her father in law...the hardest thing for Cassie was that she couldn't be her to touch Heather...to help her feel steady...but I know her hands couldn't touch her sister then...but I KNOW her knees hit the floor for her sister and she took the needs to the ONE who steadies us all! Heather brings the (first) strong will to our family...and though she didn't show it daily...she did have that...and now I see what a blessing that is! You see when you are strong willed...no one can change your mind...as you grow into adulthood...when you begin to grasp what you believe...and what is truly important in life...that strong will is your life line...she has taught me that...I think she has even shown me how to have my own strong will...she is the anchor when trials come...Michael brings laughter...which is good...but you have to remember when he was little his momma didn't know how to laugh...he has taught us all to laugh...and at times still drives us bananas...but we always know it's because he loves to laugh...and he thinks...come one people...it's funny...(girls can't you just hear him...) "that's funny!"...and now we get to see him with laughter as his wife begins life with him...and Katie...Heather said it best years ago when she said...Katie is her 6th grade hero...Katie brings faith from the cradle to us...mind you we all have our faith now...but none (I think they would all agree) of us have had the faith she has had from almost her first breath...the greatest blessing of all of this is...God made them the way they are...each one of pushed at times against HIS hands but each has yielded their lives to Him and are allowing Him to form them in to the men and the women they continue to become...they have each taken a life partner that is allowing the Lord to work in their lives as well...making families that are strong and faithful...and that my friends is what life is all about...

and IF you don't believe me...join us tomorrow for Poppas goodbye...because I have no doubt in my mind that you will walk away from that church tomorrow knowing a man who left a legacy behind...a man who yielded to the Lord...loved his family and is with his Jesus right now...I know that each one of our family was emotional yesterday at church because we were overwhelmed with the thought that Willie was worshiping Jesus face to face on his first Sabbath in heaven...

Michael

The day has finally arrived! I'm so happy for you...I've watched you for many years...with your skills as a craftsman and your ability to make a yard look so amazing and thought in that aspect you would make such a great husband...but it goes beyond that...I see a man who has learned to love his Lord with a gentle and quiet spirit and yet with great passion...because I live with a man like that...I know there is nothing greater than to have a husband like that!

I have so many things I wish I could do over...you know that...I've said it more than I really should have...but I'm so thankful for your forgiveness...and two times in particular you gently have shown me you truly have forgiven...when you sang my song you wrote me...and when you came and got me last year during the youth led service and prayed with me...God allowed me to experience those 2 times with you and they are forever etched in my mind! I know we have both had our struggles with issues in our lives...and I also know that all sin is level at the foot of the cross...but as humans we think one is worse than another...you and I understand forgiveness in it's most grace filled form!

I can't wait to see the look on your face when those doors open today and your bride walks into your arms...I'm so proud of you...and as much as I wish we could both change some choices...I truly wouldn't change anything because God used that to make Himself real to us...and to lavish us with grace and to teach us what redemption looks like...

Happy, happy wedding day...I love you and wish a lifetime of happiness with the Beks!

love,
mom

Poppa

Your wife and your children tell the whole picture...the love and care we have witnessed in the past 3 years in Linda has went beyond amazing...she has shown us a picture completely of a Proverbs 31 woman. As I watched your children...all 7 of them, carry you out last night all I could think of is what a legacy you have left behind. 7 men and women who will make this world better...because you made this world better and you taught them how to do the same!

So thank you from this "extra" one you gained 31 years ago...
thank you for accepting each of us extras!
for the example you have been to us all,
for the husband you taught mine to be...because of that...I'm blessed more than I can say in words!
for the son and brother you allowed us to witness in you
for the provider you have been
for the grandfather you have been...all the tears in those kids eyes last night are a testimony to the kind of Grandfather you are!

One person told me last night you said you were suppose to be the head of your home...take care of your family...you did that! You (with a help from Linda too!)...equipped them for this life...We all are better because of you!

I've never heard this before but saw it just this morning and thought it so fitting...

"When you are born you cry and the world rejoices. Live your life so that when you die you rejoice and the world cries."

Michael starts his new life with Bekah in 3 days and we will rejoice because we know you are with us...Scott has carried your legacy...and I have now doubt Michael will do the same...he is the man he is today not only because of his dad...but because of you...

My girls adore you as well...and so I just want to say thank you one last time for letting me see my first picture of not just a good man...but a godly man...rest well and worship before the throne even better!

Life...

I've been thinking about this post in my head for many days now...lots of things are going on in our lives at this point and I'm trying to appreciate each thing...the good and the bad...understanding that life moves continually...at times in direction that are very exciting and other times in a direction that scares the snot out of us! But it still goes...we want it to slow down...to wait on our timing and yet it refuses...

Our oldest grandson, Ayden, asked Jesus to live in his heart a few weeks ago and we got to witness his baptism this past weekend...it was an amazing feeling to see another generation desiring to follow hard and fast after Jesus...As they moved away 4 years ago I knew I'd have a difficult time missing birthdays and other special holidays with them...but my fear of never seeing such an amazing time in their lives broke my heart...so being able to be present was an extra special bonus for my heart to witness...his daddy had to honor of baptising him and the look on Jesse's face was priceless!

Our sweet Laney Kate just turned one yesterday! She is something else! When Camden was born I thought he will never really know me...and he does...I think he is even crazy about his grammy most of the time...I even had then same fear with little Laney...and she too...likes me I think....and I KNOW she knows who I am...she will not say grammy but she looks for me when her momma ask where I am...she lites up a room with her sweet smile...she shares that with Landon...when he smiles at you it's like you are the only person in the entire room!

Michael will be a married man in just 10 more days! I can't even find the words for this one...so very happy for him and Bekah...and excited!

We have people in our lives that are struggling with life right now...on many different levels...and want to desperately to say something that will make it better for them but...the words...they aren't there...and so what do you say, or do or how do you help? Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life...that is how we make it...so I pray that for them...He isn't A way or A truth or A life but He is THE way, THE truth and THE life...and somehow we get up each morning and we take a breath and we face...life before us...whether it is the cancer we face, the fear we face or just the knot that is in our stomach...and we take another breath and another...then we notice that in all the hardness this life has to offer there is good...and there is beauty...in the smiles of our children or the color of the bluest sky...or a pretty freshly bloomed flower...and somehow...before we know it...the breaths come and we didn't even notice them being hard to take...

As I close my eyes I see the faces of many people today...facing challenges that we never thought we'd face...from a simple as our kids growing up...to has hard as we can ever imagine...but behind those faces just beyond them I see color...greens and blues and yellows and pink and purples and I know that God is real and He is still on His throne and He IS GOOD even when life is hard...and I have hope...Romans 12 :12 say, "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer"...so cling to the hope...know there is color amongst the gray and when we have no words...and lets be real most of the time we don't...be a faithful prayer warrior...

Heather Michelle

Wow...I continue to stand amazed at how fast the years have gone...I didn't believe that saying when I was in the middle of raising our 4 kiddos...I was just trying to teach them to somehow survive me...and yet here I am on the other side of those days...and we have another birthday...today is Heathers 29th birthday! I promise when I wake up in the morning it STILL feels like I should go and made sure they are all up and getting ready for school...

If I thought you were reading this today and you didn't have the privilege of knowing Heather...I'd have to say she is a funny woman who loves life, her family and above all the Lord...she is a good momma who isn't afraid to make messes with her kids...making sweet memories with them along the way...she is a person who I think at times is like her momma and has a hard time forgiving herself...but like her dad in the fact that she appreciates family so much! She loves her husband and has a desire to serve the Lord beside him for the rest of their days...she lights up when the Lord teaches her something new and can't wait to share that new found lesson with anyone willing to hear it! She has made some sweet friends along her journey called life and lights up when she talks of them as well...

This year has been a hard year for her and her family as they had to say goodbye to someone very dear to them all...she has walk beside Donnie as he said goodbye to his dad....beside Rylee and Caleb as they said goodbye to their pawpaw and was like a mother hen as she stood beside and over her mother in law has she had to say the hardest goodbye of all...to her husband...Heather did this with the strength of the Lord...I've stood amazed at the strength and character she has shown through this hard year...

She has entered her classroom this year with a new and fresh perspective...with a desire to be more positive and a revived knowledge that she has divinely been placed in the lives of these students and their parents for a kingdom purpose...

I pray today she feels so loved and appreciated...may we all learn the lessons she has this year...that family is precious...and we are blessed to be a part of ours...and we are also blessed to have her...I love you Sis...

love,
Mom