The wonder of it all!!!!

What a time the last few weeks have been!!! I think it has felt almost like I was in the back ground watching life become very hectic around me and yet I'm right in the middle of it! This year is finding to be the most different year of our lives...possible, except for the "year" that changed our families life forever, this year has changed me and my outlook on life the most...

The summer Cassie and Jesse married, Heather graduated high school, went on a trip to Thailand/Cambodia and moved to college. Within 2 days of each other, both my two older girls were for the most part gone from my nest. This year has been much the same, with Heather marrying and becoming a mom and then Cassie moving so very far away. As much as we moms hate to walk thru this time of life, God has aloud me to learn so much about Him and what we are truly on this earth for!!! I've watched God turn a situation in our lives that was very difficult into something very sweet and beautiful thru Donnie and Heather's lives...lessons in brokenness, forgiveness and new starts...I remember a testimony I heard years ago and how God turns ashes into beauty...I just remember that years ago Heather even sang that song for a special at church...this year began with the birth of our sweet twin grand babies Rylee and Caleb! They came 5 weeks early and I think their house was crazy for several months....now mom and dad are accustomed to craziness, and while grammy is accustomed to it...babies going to different directions at the same time is WOW! (watch out for when they start crawling!!) I see to people who have truly waited a life time for each other become a family...who's heart desire is to raise beautiful babies who will love the Lord...what more could a grammy ask!

Then Cassie, February came and we found out they would be leaving...and I was mad at first for about 1 week...then God reminded me that it isn't about me or as bad as I hated to hear it...it wasn't about my family either...it was about Him and His honor and His glory...and I have come to the conclusion that it IS a privilege to watch Him use our family for His glory! I've watched Jesse and Cassie's home also grow, numerically this year but spiritually like never before...I see Jesse each time they visit stretch in new way and I have watched Cassie grow as a mom and a christian young woman...the last time they were here my sweet boys didn't want grammy to do things for them but rather their momma who now gets to be with them full time...all good things...

I have watch my son also change in huge ways this year...simply with deciding this was his last full year of school and just being young and hanging out with friends to having a person come into his life in the passed few months that I believe will become a huge mentor in his life and is already a great friend and for that I am very thankful...all of which are a great gift from God...at Christmas of 2004 I remember thinking as I looked as Cassie and Jesse setting on our couch....I wonder what this year will bring and in my bones I felt we would experience something great and that following mother's day we found out we would be grandparents for the first time! and then just after Christmas 2007 I told Heather that story and that I didn't know what it would be...her future husband...or a new direction...whatever it was....I felt 2008 was going to be her year and sure enough just before you birthday the following march Donnie joined us...now I don't think I'm psychic...psycho maybe...and again I don't know what it will be but I do believe 2010 is his year...

and our Katie, has found the one she feels will be her mate for life...they have a while to wait for marriage but if things continue on they will marry the in 2011 and again we will be changed and yet have another son in our lives that we already love very much...

Our exchange son is a sweet heart as well...I must admit I probably would have picked a girl again and if Michael had not insisted on NO MORE HORMONES...I would have chosen a girl...I am soooo glad I didn't...just like Amy, our lives have been forever changed because Gastao is part of it! I dreamed last night he asked Jesus into his heart and WHEN that happens it will be a dream come true...

I've never been a good momma who can say with words out of her mouth just how much my children mean to me but I am saying to each one of you...the ones I gave birth to...I love you each one so very much. I know in the worlds eyes success comes in many forms but NOT in what we (your dad and I have) but in our eyes we have seen God do great things in each of your lives and we know now that b/c you live for HIM you have already reached success, you have already found the meaning of live and your purpose to be here....and to those of you I have not given birth to, Jesse, Amy, Donnie and Gastao (and thomas) I love you and I am blessed b/c you are part of us...

for my grand babies, well I learned to not take them for granted and I tell them more that I love them and I DOOOOOOOO so much! So with all that said (I know ALOT) our lives have changed so much with just these dynamics...life at church has also been very hard this year and our hearts have been broken this year for many reason but I think the main one for me is that we put a blemish on the body of Christ...the "world" or community around us I know watched and heard things this year and I know they must think...why would we need what they have??? But God...two of the greatest words in the Bible...loved us and is restoring us...He has blessed us with a pastor who loves HIM so much and desires to see Jesus lifted high! A man who is humble and gentle and who, I believe, God will use to lead Emmanuel for many years to come...all for the glory of God...and his family...WOW...kindred spirits that's all I can say...

yesterday we had friends and family day at the church and I was OVER WHELMED at the goodness of God...we had I believe the largest Sunday morning crowd at Emmanuel today and God over exceeded our goal by 20! We had 3 baptistisms...the Gospel...shared and amazing fellowship all day long....last night we had our annual Christmas party and I was reminded again of the gift that God has given the body at emmanuel thru genuine love for one another...for knowing we are family...this morning, as I write this...I am in awe of HIM...I just cannot for the life of me fathom why He would love us, me so lavishly...take my brokenness and restore it...allow me to see my kids loving HIM and serving Him in their own individual ways. Growing Spiritually...there was a time I thought I'd never see that because of damage I'd done...there are many people who turn their backs on God with the excuse of what others had done...and believe me...I gave my kids that excuse...but God (there are those words again) brought total restoration...if you haven't experienced that please let me share this with you...don't miss out on this life with HIM...it is wild!!!

All our kids will be home for Christmas this year and with all the changes this year...I just say Christmas feels very different...like I've finally see what Christmas is really all about...I also have a niece that has moved in the last year and a half and of course my brother Steve, is always on my mind, knowing that they have given so much for the call to follow the Lord...Christmas is about Christ. That's it...and the greatest gift beyond Jesus is the gift of the people He has put in our individual lives...so I must admit the two things I'm looking most forward to this year is....our candlelight service Christmas eve...a time to focus on the Lord and the gift of Jesus Christ...and then Christmas day...after we've been to nanny and papas and grandma and poppas...and we come home...just Scott and I and our children and grandchildren...just that sweet time of us...I love you all, my family and friends and I pray God will bless you beyond anything you could ever imagine this season...