Another early morning for me...can't sleep...headache! I got up and took some migraine meds and now here I am...words rolling over and over in my head so I thought I might as well put them down! Scott leaves for India in about 9 days and so we had all the grandkids over last night for a slumber party! It was...loud! But we had a great time! They are all asleep this a.m. except Cams...he is our early riser!
I dreamt about Harold and Willie again last night...I've done that several times the past few months...I find myself mulling between two different places...wondering why they had to go...why we couldn't have them a little longer...and on the other side of it...wondering what they are seeing and experiencing in Heaven...but I also find myself very fearful, wondering who will be gone next...I am even a little afraid when I say goodbye to Scott...well you know...
I like to talk the big talk..."know" the answers to say...and I DO know it is truth...and I DO believe it...but do I walk it out daily in my life? Lord, I've had seasons in my life where I get up daily and spend good time with You...reading Your word...praying, listening to some amazing worship music...sweet times...and then comes distraction...sometimes in forms of joy...others in forms of hard things and my eyes are moved from you to whatever has distracted me...I say you are enough...You are all I need...and then I look another place...knowing I've grabbed hold of another lie...I find myself in this place again...wondering around looking for You yet not quite able to find You...I want to fix all the things around me...the hurt my sweet family is experiencing right now...the losses...the difficult things...the questions we have and yet I can't...Lord help me to simple trust...trust You...trust that You have a way bigger plan than I can comprehend...the words of Mark 9:24 comes to me this morning...“I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”
I know as human beings this is something we all struggle with at times...we say Jesus...you are all I want in the world...until something or someone comes along that we want more...why do we do that...why do I do that...I've belonged to Jesus now for almost 25 years...I don't want this struggle anymore...and I can say the struggle is different to a degree than it was 25 years ago...and year at the core...at the heart it is still very much the same...
So this morning I want to see truth...with only comes from one place...and it is NOT Ophrah, or Dr. Phil...or Joel Olsteen or even Billy Graham...but from the Truth of God's word...
Psalm 9:10
Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have
never forsaken those who seek you
Psalm 28:7
The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.
Psalm 56:3
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
1 Samuel 12:16
“Now then, stand still and see this great thing the Lord is about to do before your eyes!
Exodus 14:14
The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”---I LOVE THIS VERSE---truly where I am now...
Isaiah 40:29
He gives strength to the weary
And His Word goes on and on with great comfort for all the days of our lives...good, bad...HE IS THE LORD...
So what about you...are you struggling...maybe Jesus was enough...until you realized...you are still single and you should have a family by now...so you are distracted...or maybe you should have a child by now...distracted...or you should have "more" whatever...stuff...better job...easier life...someone back...whatever "our" distraction is...can you find truth in God's word...You can...I promise...we just have to believe it...trust it...cling to it when we have nothing else to cling to...Jesus what life is about...He is truth...He is hope...He is all we need even when the world tells us otherwise...may we be found in HIM...
This song has run through my mind for several hours already this morning...the song..."Oceans by Hillsong"
You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown, where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep, my faith will stand
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours, and You are mine
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed, and You won't start now
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours, and You are mine
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior x 6
I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours, and You are mine
I am Yours, and You are mine
I am Yours, and You are mine
I am Yours, and You are mine
never heard it before...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLrQWVpoh7U
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