Can't lose

You can't lose something you never had...those words have been ringing in my ears for 3 days now...people ask me how I am...to be honest I'm not real sure how I am or how I'm suppose to be...it's different this time than in the past...understanding those I'll see again...and those I probably won't...I say probably because I don't know what may have taken place between them and the Lord in the end...however, as believe we can't say we believe God's word is 100% truth and also talk everyone into heaven...

I keep thinking of the story of Lazarus and the Begger...I believe he can see on that side now...he knows 100% truth now...my heart is broken...not for what I lost...like I said...you can't lose something you never had...but it's broken for what he has lost...my fear this whole past several months was how...do I deal with it...and again I've learned the peace that surpasses all understand...a peace that can't be explained but can sustain...a peace that is a gift...so now on this side of it...I can begin to understand how believers make it through when they believe...and when they don't...still it's God...grace...assurance that He is still on the throne...that he knew their hearts...and mine...before the beginning of time...I'm thankful for whatever avenue God used to spur me into sharing the Gospel...not sure I could live with  myself if I had never done that...

The one thing God has spoken the most to me is what a difference my life would be if I was as broken over all lost all around me and not just the one that affected me the most...praying that truth will follow me the rest of my life...

I can't express enough the prayers that have and are going up on behalf of my family...