New Year, New challenges

Well 2011 is well into swing and with it changes and challenges are ahead for us just as they are for every person reading this post. We have so much to be thankful for as the New Year begins. We have already celebrated 4 birthdays this year! Cassie and Ayden's birthdays are the first week of January...Cassie probably doesn't want me to discuss her age on here so we will just say that she is a beautiful woman, wife, momma and daughter and I am constantly amazed at the growth I see in her life...in her walk with the Lord.

Ayden is 5 years old! It seems like yesterday they were telling us we'd be grandparents for the first time and now he is so big...and changing too! He is the oldest of 3 in his family and the oldest of our 5 grandbabies...he is a funny little boy...I have so many regrets with Michael as he grew up...so little patiences with him...if I'd only known then what I know now and I could see who short that time really was...well Ayden reminds me alot of Michael and so I can see...he is just a little boy with a funny personality...he likes to trick you and he likes to love on you...he will start Kindergarten this year and life will be different for sure! I pray sometime soon we get to hear from him that he has asked Jesus into his heart...I know that seems young but he has always been taught of the love the Lord has for him...so it may be soon and it may not but there will be a party in heaven and one in Missour whenever that time comes!

Finally we celebrated Rylee and Caleb's 2nd birthdays this past Saturday! They have changed so much this year also...Heather made us a video of the last year and I see them every day so I dont' realize the changes until I can stand back and look from the distance...they are funny little ones too becoming more and more their own..very indepentant individuals! Caleb's is usually more loving than Rylee and she tries to be the clown..trying to get a laugh!

Scott's dad, Willie, has be diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma which is a cancer of the blood plasma. It affects his bones. He has been in a great deal of pain. However, the Drs. in Little Rock are working on getting the pain under control and while it isn't gone it is much better at this point. He has not started his chemo yet but we are hoping they will begin at the end of this week. This has been a very trying and difficult time for the entire family. For Scott's parents, his siblings and their families...our children...very hard and yet...God has His fingerprints all over the entire thing! He has amazed us over and over...bringing people into Willie and Linda's path that are obvious believers...providing for their needs...He never ceases to amaze us!

Yesterday He humbled Scott and I so much...our church family took up a love offering for us b/c of the work Scott has missed while in Little Rock with his dad...sometime ago I think we would have been embarrassed but no more...we were humbled...by God's provision and His love...and the love of that little church on one of the hills of McDonald County...that church has been our family from the very beginning...I'm overwhelmed even today when I think of this unfailing love..from the people and from the Lord...

I pray you have this in your life as well...if you don't call me...I'd love to share it with you!

Please continue to pray for Willie as he has a huge battle ahead of him...but it is a battle he will not fight alone!

Cassie

To my oldest happy birthday today! I've never celebrated your birthday that I don't think about the hours you and I had after everyone went home for some much needed sleep since you decided to arrive in the wee hours of the morning...just you and me...I unwrapped you and was amazed that something so perfect and beautiful could be mine! Today is no exception!

How I wish I could spend the day with you but know you are in the foremost part of my mind today! You amaze me at the person you are today! You are an amazing wife, mom, friend and daughter. A woman who runs hard and fast after Jesus Christ. Although you are a beauty on the outside...that is what makes you beautiful on the in side.

There are many things I wish I could do over...however, the lessons I had to learn have helped to mold you into the person you are...things you KNOW not to do!

I know the past few years have been hard but I have watched you grow so much thru this new life in Christ! I love you beyond words and I'm so proud of you! You leave me speechless in your faith, trust and hope! I pray a blessing on you today my sweet, sweet girl!

blah...

I know why I just don't want to admit it...disobedience will do this to me every single time! Wanting things to go my way because that is easier than going and or doing the things God has asked of me...so I walk in disobedience and have the blahs...

and there is no reason...no good one anyways...just listen to how much our God loves us...

He saved us for one!!! Salvation thru His Son Jesus Christ...He has given us each other...we are pretty healthy...we have the things we need and even some added blessings on top of that! Amazing children and really amazing grandbabies!!!!

The honor to be His servants in a church we love like family...we are family there! A year with a Pastor and sweet family that loves us...Loves HIM and desires to lead in a manner that pleases Him...

A six week study that has taught me so much and I pray has touched the lives of our teens and thru the play last night...I pray it also touched the lives of the adults who joined us...

so you see no reason other than...the sin I'm struggling with...I'm failing at it miserably and I want God to just take it from me...like magic...just be gone...and he wants me to trust HIM...please pray for me...again...I just can't be open about it...but I do need so many prayers...thank you family and friends...I love you all!

...and we begin...

It's been a while since I've posted anything...sorry for the absence...I guess I've been thinking many things over in my mind...I must admit I've missed Cassie and her family more the pasted few months...It's been harder now that the first year...sounds dumb doesn't it...but that is how it is...not really sure why...maybe b/c Ayden has started so many new things that I never dreamed I'd miss...like his first day of preschool and his first t-ball game...but that is our life now...Cassie blogged about how different her life looked than she had planned many months ago...and today I'd have to agree...mine looks different than I wanted it to also..with more changes coming I fear...but I know it is God's plan and will and I must and I will conform to HIS will and not mine...that is what makes is bearable...even good...I've learned hard is not always bad...it is hard but that is where I see HIM the most...I trust HIM the most...and I wouldn't trade my hards...b/c HE uses them to change me...change us into the people HE desires us to be...

Since summer we've started a new study with our teens and God is using it in their lives so much! It is such an honor to be HIS servant...The title of the study is "The Bottom Line" and it is so good...it is also...hard...but we have got to start thinking past the end of our noses and see HIS will and again...not our own selfish desires!

We all have had life lessons we've had to go thru...God has been my guide but if I had to label them hardest and counting down...I'd have to say...fighting the sin of my anger...the ordeal our church body went thru...and my oldest moving so far away has been the 3 most difficult things God has taken me thru...and HE did take me thru it...I have experienced joy, peace and when needed forgiveness on the other side...

I now face a new battle...and one I am not willing to share by name yet...but I am scared of failure...scared of the size of battle it is...and the time and effort on my part it will take to beat this demon in my life...God has very clearly spoken to me about this for a very long time...and I believe I'm ready to surrender to HIM...however, HE and I have alot of work...I'm scared b/c before I had Kim to walk thru each day with me...and this time I don't...God very clearly told me Sunday morning...I was to turn to HIM and NO ONE ELSE...that is why I don't feel I can share...and when...not if...but when I'm on the other side of this battle...I'll share...and HE WILL RECEIVE THE HONOR...not that HE hasn't in my past b/c HE has...I believe HE has placed people...godly people in my path to be used by HIM for HIS glory...Kim was and is one of those people...but this time...I've walked with HIM longer...He says to me I AM enough...I again, I'm scared...of failing HIM again...but determined to surrender to HIM...I will not worry about what I will be like one month from today or even if I'll make it to Friday with HIM in this battle...I will take today and face it with my FATHER...then I'll take tomorrow...I CAN do this thru Christ who gives me strength! I'm scared but I'm excited to share with you what HE has done in my life at the end of this battlefield before me...when I share some people will not understand and think it is stupid...but God reveals sin in our individual lives...and this is a sin...He has revealed to me over and over and over again...I will obey HIM or I will stay here and go no further with HIM...and the conviction and the desire to grow deeper in HIM simply will not let me stay here anymore!

I don't know what you are stuggling with...but we all struggle...don't minimize your struggle...or compare it to someone elses....it is yours...you don't need to do anything but believe and trust God to work out all things in your life for HIS GLORY...If you are like me, you may feel you can't do it...you can't beat this demon or fight it...you are right we can't...but HE CAN...HE changed the anger inside me...I didn't...but my part was to be in prayer...CONSISTENTLY...be in the WORD and find verses that applied to my life...to claim...to choose to listen to the conviction and let HIM change me from the inside out...when the battle is done...we will know it was HIM...I want so desperately for HIM to just take it without me doing any work....but I won't learn to trust, lean and rely on HIM if HE does that...and so...HE and I...we begin...

To Katie

20!!!!! So now I guess I'll agree you are one of those "a" words...(calm down everyone I mean adult) she was just never allowed to say that in my house!

You have been and brought great joy to this litte family! You may not know it but I was trying to get pregnant with you...then one night...sorry just teasing you..no then one night your dad said I thought you wanted another baby...I said I thought you did...we better start being careful! But God...(there are those words I've come to love) knew we needed you and much to our surprise I was already pregnant...you did whoever make me the sickest of all your siblings! Yep...I think I started throwing up before I knew and I did the day you were born and everyday in between!

You are such a funny person! You have the ability to bring laughter into a room and make it contagous! You know, I've told you many times you are one of my heros! (just as your brother and sisters are)...to watch you walk with the Lord...to trust Him so much at such a young age...that makes you a hero in this momma's eyes!

I look forward to seeing you future play out before us all...to see you marry...have your own family...to serve the Lord beside your husband...to teach you childen about the Lord...You know really the truth is that you, Cassie, Heather and Michael are the ones who taught me...sorry it had to be that way but so thankful that God's grace in you lives was big enough for you to be able to do that...Know these things, I love you so much, I'm proud of the WOMAN you have become, I'll be your biggest prayer warrior (besides your daddy) and...as long as I'm living my baby you'll be!!!! You have a fantastic day sweet girl!

summer times...with the great I AM!!!

Well summer is almost over and what a summer it has been. We have been so busy since we got home from JAX in July! We celebrated the 4th with a thrown together party at our house but it was a good day and night and we had the best firework display yet!

Jesse and Cassie brought their youth group to Missouri to minister to the area...and I believe all those closely involved will be forever changed. We saw God do amazing things...in the lives of the kids they taught...in the lives of the people they visited...in the lives of our teens and in the lives of theirs! It was one of the most powerful weeks I've ever had the privilege of being a part of...We had kids saved during the Day Camp they hosted...we witnessed one of our own teens ask Jesus into her heart...we witnessed a few others just nailing down somethings in their lives...and we witnessed the bonding of our own youth group. That was something that needed to happen so we can work together...Friday night they hosted a youth rally. We had great hopes for it...we invited 4 other churches to join us...and not ONE came just EBC and ABC that was it...but God knew what He was doing...we had amazing worship...then Jesse brought the word...it was a powerful service with one of the JAX students being saved as well! The students then began to share testimonies...around an hour of young people sharing what God is teaching and leading in their lives...amazing!!!!!! We were sad to see them leave but excited too so that all involved...their teens and ours could begin walking what God had been talking to them all about!!!

We went STRAIGHT into VBS at the church the next week...we had a youth class this year for many various reason...but the main one being that again...God knew what He was doing...We started the week with 14 teens and ended the week with 31! We saw 5 teens accept the Lord! What a week! Again, lives have been changed forever!

During this time we also got to spend some sweet time with Cassie and the boys. Jesse went back to JAX and was gracious enough to share Cassie and the boys with us. So we had almost 3 full weeks with them! (total) It was great! I love them so much and miss them more than I can put into words...but the most fun (if I had to categorize it) was getting to know Camden better...he obviously doesn't know us as well and we don't know his personality like we do Ayden and Landy's so that was so good. He is a very good baby who likes to laugh and tease. He plays hard and when he plays to hard he falls asleep in his food! Ayden keeps us in stitches and Landy has the most precious smile..it will just melt you like butter...loved again watching them play with Rylee and Caleb...love seeing all 5 grandbabies together!

Michael and Katie went straight from VBS to Children's camp along with a few others from the church...JD and Heather being some...next to the last day Heather fell and broke her leg and ankle...a very severe break that has since required surgery...praying for her recovery as she sets in her chair and listen's to the Father!

Michael and Katie then came home and the next day took Cassie and the boys home and spent a week with them...everyone is home now but I won't say it's normal...don't think we know normal anymore...but that is good!!!!

God has taught me many things this summer...to many to put into words I think....but I can say I doubted many things and He has shown me once again just how Good, and gracious and faithful He is! I've fasted from facebook the past week..it has been one of the hardest things I've ever done..I knew I was addicted but had no idea really just what an idol it had become in my life...yesterday I told Scott and the kids...Monday...I'm setting my alarm at 5:30 and getting up to get back on FACEBOOK...then today the Lord VERY clearly said...you never seem that excited or determined to spend time with ME! OUCH...pray for me...I want to be that sold out and passionate about HIM...tomorrow is a new day with new things in my life...I would ask for you to pray for God to have HIS way in my life and not me having mine...

Until the next time...here are some grandbabies of mine...

Seashells...

Well I'm home for Florida...and again it was to short of a visit but a very sweet time with our sweet daughter and her family serving Jesus there in that beautiful city! We celebrated Camden's first birthday while there...he has grown into a very handsome little toddler! He is walking everywhere now and beginning to talk...and chasing hard after his big brothers.

This trip Heather and the twins joined us along with Nanny and Gigi...this was the first trip for each one of them...I think they enjoyed the trip as well...there was a stomach bug in the house when we arrived but we loved on each other anyway!

Along with the b-day celebration we got to take the kiddos to the zoo one day and to the beach another day...all were good times with lots of sweet memories...I must admit my main thing I wanted to see...was all 5 of my grandchildren playing together...and boy did they...we had some adjustments to make but all in all...5 kids, 4 and under in a house for a week...did GREAT!!!! They are all so very precious to me...almost all can same some kind of Grammy now and I love hearing them say my name and more than that reaching for me...wanting and letting me love on them!

Camden enjoying his birthday cake!

on grammy's lap...so happy????

at the zoo

all 5 playing together


It was a good trip...I even did all the driving which if truth be told...it is again just a sign of my "control freak" personality...But I must say...I have yet to see my Jacksonville family that God hasn't taught me something and He has done that again...I'd like to share with you...praying God will use this in your life...as we played at the beach...Ayden had told me he and I would get some seashells off of the beach...but he got busy playing and forgot as did I...then just before we left I noticed how many there were right there in front of me...I began to pick them up walking down the beach...God began to speak...He is continuing to teach me to take my hands off of all the things in my life I'd held onto so tightly...all the things that to a degree I could be a control freak with...my husband, children...even my life...but He reminded me that He has other plans for our lives...beautiful plans if we will let HIM be in control...and that may mean He will scatter us as the seashells were scattered along the beach...but He has a purpose...a beautiful purpose...for some lost soul to be in just the right place at just the right time to see one of those seashells...for their lives, their paths to cross so He can change another life...and another...and another...so I picked up several shells and I've placed them on my table with the pictures of all the grandbabies...because I want them to serve me as a reminder that I must be willing to let God take them were He desires...for His greater glory...oh, and I know the waves will come and go...some to wash us clean and others hard and scary at times...but all under the control of the Father...I don't think this time the lesson was just about again...taking my hands off of the kids...(all the kids) but also to take my hands off of my desires and dreams...I think He is trying to teach me that I must let go of my life...lay it down and pick up His cross...follow Him...daily...a verse I've used recently...may it be my lifeline from now to eternity..."So I said, Here I am...send me..." Isaiah 6:8b...what is the "seashell" in your life that you need to surrender? I love you all...