Surrendered

Happy Mother's Day 2010! What a great day it has been around this place. My day started with a "survival style mother's day hunt" The kids all went together and got me a swing to set in the yard and grow old in...rocking my grandbabies in...the twins and I like to set and swing...and let me just say I know 3 special little boys that will getting their own swing time with grammy come july!!! Cassie called this morning...I must confess I really knew she would! So I was waiting for that phone to ring...I miss her like crazy and though we both tried to hide it from the other...today was hard without seeing each other face to face...but hard doesn't mean bad...just different...We've almost had all the "first" behind us know...they've been gone from here 11 months now...WOW...but God...have I already said I love those words??? He is faithful and good! They have seen many things good in their ministry there, lives changed and more importantly eternities changed...that is what life is all about!!!

Surrender...that is the message I heard from the Lord today in church...JD had an amazing message from the Lord...I'm trying so hard to open the palms of my hands and say here it is Lord...take it all...it's really Yours anyway...never has belonged to me...surrender everything and everyone...trust Him to lead my lives, my husbands, my childrens...my friends and family...

The mother/daughter banquet was Friday night and the message was amazing there as well...a reminder that there are times we are to sit and there are times we are to serve...and both seasons are for a purpose...the challenge is to know when to sit and when to serve...

My grandbabies are getting to big! Our Ayden will start preschool in the fall and I can't believe it...I still remember the christmas before we was even conceived...thinking...I just wonder if this is the year that will change our lives... and boy was it!!!! Landon is talking more and more...today when Cassie called I could hear him talking with his daddy and I COULD understand him....oh our little landy...then twins are starting to also talk...mimick and FIGHT with each other...today their parents told us...you won't think is funny in a few more years...but really now it is! and then our little camden...is almost walking according to mom he is taking 4 steps at a time now...not that he means too but he is...I hate missing his firsts...but I WILL be there for his first b=day in a few weeks! Looking forward to precious time with them and travel down with my family...

our next few weeks are very busy...gastao will be going thru graduation and then he will be going home to brazil...he will be greatly missed around here!

this side of revival!!!

Well...it has been an amazing week...a week full of difficult truth to hear, absorbed and begin to apply to my life...We had a fine young man come to share God's truth with us...we would highly recommend this young man. It is obvious that he loves the Lord with a passion we don't get to see nearly as much as we should see...beginning in our own love for the LORD! His name is Richard White.

We began our week with a very special night of prayer...I think that is the last I shared here with you...then the next time we were challenged with the questions...did we REALLY want to be in the Presence of the Lord? Would I call my desire for His presence desperate...a daily reality or a Sunday formality? Very challenging...you know the quick "church" answer is of coarse I want to be in God's presence but the reality is...I see very quickly who I really am in His presence...because I see who I am in light of who He is...

The next night...The cost to Follow our God...the number one truth I go this night is that Jesus is not suppose to be number one in our lives...which is what I always thought it was suppose to be...He is not number one...He is to BE my life...He isn't and add on to our lives...He is to be our lives...Am I willing to crucify my comfort to follow Jesus...everyONE and everything must be surrendered to Him and I must love Him more than it all...again...allow Him to be my life...am I willing....do I REALLY want this??? Something that occurred to me today as I was writing this is...they say sin will take you further than you wanted to go, keep you longer than you ever intended to stay and cost you more than you wanted to pay...could the same be said about your lives sold out to Jesus...am I willing to go as far as He calls, stay as longs as HE desires and give up what He ask me to give up...again...my life and all in it~

How do we approach God??? With clean hands and a pure heart...the hands are the outward things...what other people see and know about us...the heart is the deepest part of me...truth...the hands reflect the heart...Jesus always addressed the heart matters...why....because if we get the inward right it will fix the outward...Does my heart reflect my words and actions...God does NOT exist for me...I exist for HIM...God's ultimate purpose is NOT to save my soul...it IS to bring glory to Himself...I pray thru saving my soul He is glorified~

Last message...but NOT the end of my revival...it is on going...Consider your ways...again we are talking about matters of the heart...personal priorities...worship of one affects worship of all...and the sin of one affects the worshipo of all...worthless working and pointless pursuits...the american dream...we work but we don't purse the presence of God...Jesus can't be number 1 on my life...He must be my life....required repentence...repentence is rooted in the knowledge of what my sin has done to the heart of God...it is not guilt...so what will I do...

Surrendered my whole heart to God...know that He will require a great deal from a surrendered heart...I'm I a little scared...yes but my fear is greater to continue in disobedience...

The beginning of revival...

Just some thoughts...we are beginning our first revival at our church for many, many years. Everyone is so very excited. We have had prayer meetings for the past few weeks and we have already seen revival in hearts begin to breakout. I've been so very surprised at the number of people who have never been part of a revival! We have one gentleman in our church who was saved as a small boy and he just retired and he has never seen a revival...I think my prayer for him, me and our entire church is that we don't see revival but we experience it in a very real and personal way....

Last night be began the services with a special prayer night...our church, Emmanuel will be 20 years old this summer...it was birthed thru some pain, confusion and much prayer! Over the years God has done great things there, taught us great and might lessons...some not easy to learn...but I would say because we prayed...we knew the importance of seeking Him before decisions were made...and then we lost that...we forgot our first love maybe...but we stopped seeking Him in the little things first then even some or several of the big things...I think I can say over the past year we have been returning to the call to prayer...God has been reminding us HE is the one we need to seek...BUT last night I was so very humbled, blessed, amazed as this sweet time of restoration God gave the body of Emmanuel and myself as a member...He is the ONE who needs to be our guide...I believe God began something great last night and I'm so very excited to be a part of this time...

I would ask you to join us in prayer for Michael as he leads us in worship, Richard White as he brings the messages God lays on his heart and for each person that will come each night. I know that satan doesn't want this week to happen so pray that each of us will be able to look at things or people that irritate or just plain make us mad or upset...that our battle is NOT with flesh and blood...the word tells us in Eph. 6:12 "for our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms..." We must hang onto this truth and the truth that we do have an enemy who whole purpose is to steal, kill and destroy...it is so easy to be on a spiritual "high" if you will but then the first time we get "bumped" then we fall from that mountain top time...it's so hard to see things this way according to scripture...but it is truth...our battle is not with flesh and blood...our enemy will throw things our way be on the alert...and then we will be able to hear and apply what God has for us this week....my last prayer now is that in 5 days I will have great and mighty things to share on my blog concerning this week...until then...

Oh Glorious Day!

Well, Easter 2010 has come and gone but it was a beautiful day! I prayed the night before that the Lord would wake me up early to see the sunrise...we didn't have a sunrise service this year (which I was so fine with) but for some strange reason I wanted to see it this year...so...He did...He woke me up and I sat on the back porched and watched this amazing sunrise...hope for a new day! That was probably a first for me...to even care enough to get out of bed and see the sun...but I wanted to meet with THE SON!

This was another first for me this year...the first real holiday without all the kids here...but in His graciousness He allowed it to be a holiday that isn't about us anyway....it's about HIM...We had a sweet day in the Lord's house with good worship and a good Word...then off to the in laws for lunch...and home again to hide eggs with the twins...and play a game of cards with good friends and family...in Florida God filled several days of activities for them as well...coloring eggs, a day at the beach (we tease them about suffering for Jesus there!!), egg hunt then yesterday they had church and an afternoon with a sweet family that loves them like their own! To say it wasn't a little sad would not be honest because it was but for the greater glory...you know???

The Lord is teaching me so many things right now...some lessons are still very hard...I have seen the old temper sprout up again...I hate it but He is there convicting me of it...learning to focus on Him and not this life...or my surroundings OR the way I feel in any given circumstance! He is also teaching me that my focus is on way to many things and or people...I've always wanted Scott to be my best friend...the one I could talk to...but God is teaching me that Scott is to be #2...HE wants and deserves the #1 spot...He wants to be the first one I run to and talk to...another thing He is teaching is to pay attention to the details of His word...I read but I miss sooooo much because I dont' take the time to see the small details...the things that at times teach us the greatest lessons...I cheat Him and I cheat myself by not slowing down and paying attention!

We are well into ladies bible study now and God is really doing amazing things thru the study in my life...revival is one week and one day away to offical begin at the church...and I am SOOOO very excited...I believe God is already beginning revival in our hearts...and I cannot wait to see what He has...may we be willing and ready...for me the words of this song say it all...I'm personalizing it for my life...I confess, I've lived in sin....please show Your power once again!

Ayden is still having a hard time being away from here...last Wednesday was really hard for him...BUT Wednesday night a teen in their youth group was saved...so my prayer for him...for all my kids, grandkids and the generations to come that I'll never know...is that we see again, God's greater picture...if Jesse and Cassie had chose to disobey...to stay here...that teen may have never surrendered their life to Christ...we are studying Esther and the words...For such a time as this comes to mind...we must be willing to be uncomfortable...because...who knows...God...enough said...God, the beginning and the end...Love you all...until next time...have a blessed day....

Jacksonville, Florida

Well..here we are!!! We have spent 5 glorious days with Cassie and the boys! We have been shopping...gone to Landy's 2nd birthday party, church (and watched an amazingly talented 4 year old sing!), and had great fellowship with the kids Florida family! We have 2 days left and I do dread the big goodbye but am so thankful for the time we are having!

The boys have changed so much in the time since we've seen them and yet they are so much the same...funny boys that are full of energy! Ayden is for sure a big boy now and does not like to be called little...he is a great big brother most of the time...he is so smart...he has painted me some artwork that is wonderful!!! Landon is still very small...but he is so funny! He is starting to say more and more words and one he has gotten down this week is poppy much to my saddness! He does attempt to call me "crazy grammy"! He had a great b-day and we got to witness many people to love not only him but all my boys!!! That is such a gift we get to see...then there is Mr. Camden...who is changing of coarse the most...since Christmas he is screaming!!!!!!!!!! setting up, crawling, pulling up and babbling words...mostly dadadadada...he is so big and still smiles so easily...

Well just wanted to share a bit of our week...I'll have pictures next week when I can plug my camera into my computer...until then...

2 weeks and counting!

We get to go see our girl and her sweet boys in Florida 2 weeks from today! I'm very excited to see them. While we are there we will celebrate Landon Ryan's 2ND birthday! He has been such an added blessing to our lives...he is a little spit fire and I think he attempts to run circles around his momma but he is a blessing...our lives are forever better because we know him...There is also a hope we will get to see Ayden sing in the preschool choir while we are there! One of the hardest things about this sweet family living so far away is missing these little things that we all take for granted if we live close to each other...then the other thing we will see while we are there is baby Camden crawling now...going everywhere I hear...since we've last seen him...he is sitting up, crawling and from the sounds of things from when I called the other day...he is finding his voice! I just want to sit and enjoy 6 or 7 glorious days with them...soaking up every minute I can with them...maybe even sit on the beach one afternoon with them...

The twins had their 1 year checkup this week and they are doing well except again, Rylee is underweight...she has plateaued on the chart...(she is actually off the chart) so we are busy pouring the calories to her...I would ask that you please pray about this...she really does have a very good appetite but she doesn't drink...milk, water, juice nothing really...and this is the problem the Dr is saying...other that that they are both good...Caleb out weighs her by 7 lbs! he is walking a little and she is just a tease!

I asked a question last week to my friends on facebook and emailed the question to several people and was amazed by ALL the answers I got...but I realized that I didn't give my answer...the question..does uncompromising faith make life "worth it"...well a week ago I'd have said YES...very easily...this week I'll still say, scream YES< YES< YES but I will also say it doesn't make life easy...this world is a hard place to live in at times....Oh don't get me wrong there are times...days even that man, life is so good...you get the warm fuzzies almost...you love the people in your life...at my age...you experience grand babies and just let me say they are like nothing else you've ever experienced before...these days can I say my uncompromising faith factors in? Well, yes and no...yes because I believe, for me, it is part of how I am...but no because I could just find joy in these people and circumstances God has so graciously blessed me with and thru...the other days though...the hard days...because we struggle with this thing or that...or days when our hearts are broken over the evil and violence in this world...in people, or who we love so much but we simply cannot make them see the "Hope" that is there for all mankind...those are the days that I must say...without this uncompromising faith I'd be lost...those day when if I had to think....if this is all there is to life...I'm done...I can't do this anymore...but then faith reminds me, keeps me going knowing that my time here is temporary and this is JUST the beginning...that there is more to it than me...it's not about me...it's about my Father in Heaven who loves me like no other...who hates the evil and injustices way more than I could ever! People would say...why doesn't He do something about it then...because if He did...free will would be gone...what is love if we don't have the free will to choose or not to love Him. So with free will comes choices, some choose a love for God...a sold out life to Him, for some just passing thru this world...good people...put no hope beyond this life here on earth..and for some...evil and violence...and ALL...no matter our choice...God loves ...sent Jesus to die for us...it all comes back to our free will to choose...so again...for me...without uncompromising faith...it's not worth living...BUT with it...I can appreciate my loved ones more and can face the hard days better knowing that I am not nor will I EVER be alone...IN CHRIST ALONE MY HOPE IS FOUND!

I'd ask you to join me as we pray for each other...for strength to walk this faith out..I heard from people who have walked thru really bad things...lost husbands to terrible accidents, children dying, sickness and from others who spent the largest part of their lives living for themselves or for others...and now they can say...without any doubts...faith, uncompromising faith is worth it all...

I can do all things through Christ how gives me strength...have a blessed day...

things I need to learn...

Well, today may very well be one of those days that I'd like to say...Lord I WILL always love you but I want to just hide from this world...I listened to a sermon online last week and the preacher was talking about faith...he said something that is so me! He said...how many times in our lives do we say we will trust the Lord and pray...only to be found guilty of yes...being on our knees but...worrying! That is me...I worry about my kids...always wanting to fix all their struggles...and stressing out because I know that I can't...stressing out that at some point in our youth I'll lose Scott in some tragic way...knowing TRUTH in my heart that is a stronghold from the enemy...worrying that I've done something wrong to hurt one of our teens in their walk with the Lord...worry I'll cause the blemish on the body of my precious Savior...and the sad truth is I have done that very thing...

Now I KNOW truth...I know this fear and insecurities is an attack from the enemy of my soul...I must choose to walk in truth...keeping my eyes fixed on the Lord...this is what I must learn....