lesson I'm learning...still...again...never ending...

The Lord has been speaking to my heart for quite some time now...I feel very withdrawn and quiet these days which is how I am when He is speaking...sometimes I am quiet because I'm trying to listen and learn...and other times I'm quiet because I'm being rebellious and simply attempting to ignore everything He is saying to me...

This time I'm in between those two I think...although truth be told you can't be in between...you are either obeying or you aren't simple as that! I have lost a grand total of 33 pounds since I've started weight watchers and while that is a success it is by FAR not the success I must achieve to be obedient and to be healthy...and it is by FAR not the success I'd hoped to have achieved 8 full months into this journey...I know the reason I've failed...I want to say I don't, but I do...I want to cry most days and feel sorry for myself but you know...I just can't...it is a simple lack of disciple and lack of obedience...because I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH...

So now what do I do...I keep on going the way I've been going? NO...it must stop...the Lord has spoken to my heart so much the last month...about the issue of sin...you know it is all level at the foot of the cross..so my sin of overeating is the same as murder...it is disobedience to the Father and He cannot and will not accept it...I used to teach abstinence in the public schools in our area...something that I'm very passionate about...and the Lord has reminded me of this sin compared to my own lately...to be pure before the Lord...means to abstain from things of this world...the lust of the eye...well...a girl may lust for a boy of he for her...and I lust for the food I do not need...things that are not healthy or beneficial...if I were to be approached by a young man or woman struggling with the sexual sin what advice would I give them...maybe I'd say don't be alone with the other person, make sure you are never in a compromising position, have accountability all around you...maybe possibly you may even need to walk away from that person...but then there is ME and MY sin...do I have accountability, do I walk away from food, do I make sure I'm not allowing myself to be in a position that my compromise this journey the Lord and I are on? I can have my self-righteous attitude all day but the Lord WILL remind me of my place in light of my attitude concerning others and in light of WHO HE IS!

I have started a new bible study called "Made to Crave" by Lysa Terkurst. The Lord is using it a great deal to both convict my and to encourage me...to give me hope...when I was walking through the healing process of dealing with my anger the Lord gave me several scriptures but the first one He gave me means to much because I knew it was the beginning of my healing...I've needed a scripture for this issue as well..."EVERYTHING IS PERMISSIBLE-BUT NOT EVERYTHING IS BENEFICIAL" 1 Cor. 10:23...this by far will not be the only scripture He uses or gives me but this is the start...In Eph. 1:19 it says His glorious inheritance in the saints and His incomparably great power for us who believe...

I have, we have the power to lay down our sin that so easily entangles us and walk in freedom...but we must want and chose to walk in HIS INCOMPARABLY GREAT POWER.

I don't know about you but this is my desire...

I've tried to be open about this struggle and it is hard to be...there are things that only the Lord and I will know about it...and there are things I know I need to share...above all I think the Lord would want us all to know that whatever our sin issue is...and we all have them...there is victory IF we want it...we simply cannot say I can never overcome it...that is a lie from the pit of hell...and satan takes great pleasure in us believing that and walking bound up in that. We are doing a studing with Pierced Student Ministries right now and the whole point is Matthew 22:37 Jesus said to him, "You must love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind."

Our lesson last night was on loving Him with all our hearts and how that can even be done...so the question we are faced with is what is more important to you than the Lord...your spouse, children, grandchildren...maybe it's your position in society...maybe it is your career...maybe is an ugly habit you have...and as hard as it is to say...we simply do not love God enough to walk away from it...or we simply do not love the Lord enough to trust Him to gets us through it...

The Lord is speaking....reminds me of the words we heard during our revival in May...Lord speak...I obey.

summers coming to an end...

Well it has been a wild a crazy summer around the Griffith household...we have had huge successes, new people come into our lives...said hello to some and good bye to others...God has been as He always is so faithful this summer! He's grace, mercy and riches never cease to amaze me...I've wanted to write on my blog for sometime now but I've not been able to adequately come up with the words in my heart...not sure today will be the day the words will come either but I'll give it a try....

Back in the late spring a read a book...not a fan and it was amazingly eye opening...we even followed the book up with doing a study with the students of Pierced Student Ministries..I didn't get to finish the study with them b/c of my trip to Florida to welcome grand baby #6 into the world...so I'm sad about that...however it has been on my mind all summer long...when the times get tough do I live my life as a sold out follower of Jesus Christ or am I must a fan of His? Power book if you haven't read it you should...we should live such different lives then we actually do....

I spent the entire month of June in Florida with Cassie, Jesse and the kids...when they moved 3 years ago I feared I wouldn't have a good relationship with the kids...and maybe they'd even wonder who grammy is but they know! I think it is the crazy grammy thing that helps them remember...enjoyed the HECK out of loving on that newborn baby girl and bonding with her her first month of life!

When I got home I had to hit the ground running hard and fast because we had a mission week just around the corner with the youth and since I'd been gone I was behind before I even started! While Scott was with me in FL, we came so so close to just canceling that week...and now we know why Satan was trying to get us to. It was an amazing week...many lives changed...for all eternity...we witnessed brokenness and then restoration...we witnessed young people just getting real and honest before the Lord and again...forever they will be changed because the God's greatness and their willingness to be broken...

The youth, Scott and myself had a 2 day break/rest then we had another week of VBS...which again, God blew us away...we had 52 TEENAGERS come thru our room that week...we witnessed 8 come to know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior...radical is all I can say...

Our family has also gone thru some very good changes this summer...with the addition of Miss Laney Kate...Born May 21, 2012...she is the 6th grandbaby for us...the 2nd girl! She is a sweet baby and we are ALL looking forward to holding in our arms again! We also have another addition to our family this summer and that would be Miss Bekah Crawford...she and Michael have been seeing each other for several months and she is family to us know...I think we all look forward to the coming months that will make this "official".

Donnie, Heather and the twins went to Canada on a mission trip this summer, Katie and Thomas went on one as well to Minnesota I believe with world changers...up until the the last month Scott has been very busy with work, however it has slowed down alot and we would ask that you pray that God would continue to bless in the work area!

I've seen amazing and been a part of some amazing things this summer...some are the kind that just make you set and say WOW...some are sad and hard to understand but all amazing...knowing that God is completely in control...

However, I do have one huge confession...I started a journey...in January and I said then I'd make it public for more than one reason...to bring honor to the Lord...to use it as an avenue so that I can have some accountability in my life and lastly so that thru my struggle, hopefully, someone else will be helped...I've failed this summer...I continue to fail...I don't have a reason or an excuse...please pray I still have so very far to go and I desire that my temple of the Holy Spirit be healthy...