Another birthday

While her family has been blessed by her for 26 sweet years together...this is our 3rd precious year with this sweet girl!

I just want to take a minute to say happy birthday to our Beks!!!! She has come into our family...fitting us like a glove...we are blessed not only by the person that she is but also by the joy that she brings! She...like all my "extras" that have joined us over the years...make us better...makesus closer to being complete (needing a few little people to be complete!!!!)

Beks...have a great day...shine like you do in that classroom today!!! Enjoy who God has made you to be!!! We love you so much!!!

love...the "real" one 

D-Now-It's not just for students...

God has overwhelmed me yet again! He is amazing at overwhelming us isn't He? We took our students to a D-Now hosted by a sister church close to us! We have come to love our fellow partner in the ministry there so much. We have joked for several months now...that he is Scott's lost twin brother that was born 10 years late!

I have found myself thinking, praying and even blogging about all the regrets in my life...and while it is true...I have many...many regrets in my life...many things that, if I had the opportunity to do I'd attempt it again! God has been gracious over the times I've failed and messed up so completely...and because of His grace and mercy I am able to get out of bed and face a new and fresh day!

However, with all that said...my blog today is NOT about the things a regret but rather those things in my life that I can stand and say...some of them were amazing and others were very difficult BUT I do NOT regret them...they...much like my failures and trials have been what God has used in my past to help me face the future...

Things I do NOT regret...

1. I do NOT regret my salvation...I do NOT feel like I have given up anything to be a Christ follower     but rather I have gain everything...it has cost me nothing but given me everything needed in life...it     is the power to sustain me...and I thank YOU JESUS for calling my name...

2. I do NOT regret marrying Scott Griffith...not for one second of one day...he has driven me crazy         and has loved me more than I could have ever deserved or hoped for...he is my rock...and my best       friend...we have grown together in this thing we call life and he is the perfect one just for me...!

3. I do NOT regret our choice to have children so soon...or for having 3 of them so close together...I       can still close my eyes and see them playing together...that first year with Michael was trying at           times but secretly I loved it that besides his maw maw I was the most important person in his life         and he let that be known!!! The fact that Cassie and Heather came so close together...the days were       difficult at times...but the joy was more...I do NOT regret I didn't do something permanent when         Michael came like I planned (that was NOT Scott's plan)...because 4 years later...we were                   completed...and while I am thankful for Katie...I also do NOT regret waiting that 4 years to play            catch up just a bit!

4. I do not share this next one to hurt or cause anger in anyone but it is so much the truth...I do NOT       regret that we became a part of Emmanuel Baptist Church...because of the people God used in and    through that church He radically touched not only my life but the life of my husband and the lives      of my children...we are forever changed because my husband obeyed the Lord when he knew he          would hurt people he loved the most in his live...He has led us in example...what a life lived                obediently and sacrificially is looks like and for that I cannot have regret!

5. I am never proud of my past but I do NOT regret sharing it when the Lord asks me too...when He       calls me to share the ugliest parts of me so people are able to see the greatness and hope of Him...I     do not regret it...

6. I do NOT regret staying home with my children and now making the choice to work from home so     I can stay home with my grand babies...from the worlds perspective it has cost Scott and I a great         deal...but in our eyes (at least 98% of the time) I am thankful for the time I can't get back with             them...just wish I had appreciated it more then...and I do try to appreciate it more now with the           grandkiddos...

7. I do NOT regret that we have opened our home to 4 exchange students now...and with the doors of     our home opening up to them so did the doors of our hearts for them each one...

8. I do NOT regret one bible study I've set through...one opportunity to hear the Word preached...

9. I do NOT regret working with students for 30 years now...honored that God allows us to continue       in this ministry...

10. I do NOT regret my life...10 years ago I couldn't say that...but I know that God has a much larger       picture than I can even comprehend and I am learning to trust that and understand that each                 triumph, victory and mistake and failure...He knows will come...He knows me...better than I               know me...He created me...and I will follow Him...

Still Overwhelmed....

Another day...another entry...I am thinking today of all the things I left out yesterday...the ladies of our church that are privileged to stay home during the day have been joining me on Monday mornings for a Bible Study...OH how I have missed Bible Study...I have needed this...I thought if I was lucky one or two ladies would join me but we have consistently had 7-9 ladies and it has been just a sweet time...refreshing...just what my soul was longing for...so thankful for each one of them...

I am thankful for the man that I have shared 33 1/2 years (not all that time married!) of my life with...he never ceases to amaze me...probably there is no one who can make me as angry as him...or hurt my feelings like him...and then turn around and make me feel like the most treasured person on earth...truth be told that is what I feel 99% of the time...our marriage has been and continues to be a work in progress...just as all marriage are or at least should be...he is a kind man...who loves very deeply...when you have been loved by Scott...you know you are loved...as his kids and grand kids will tell you...I think even his mom and siblings would say that...he still hugs his brothers and sisters and tells them he loves them...most of the time...there was a time...I hate to admit this...but I was jealous of Jesus because I've known for a very long time now that I come 2nd in Scott's life...but do you know what I've learned over the years??? (young ladies take advice from this...love a man who loves Jesus way more than you)...as he has fallen more and more in love with the Savior...he is able to love me more and more...the last 32 years of marriage have been amazing and I look forward to the next however many years God blesses us with...

I spoke of Michael and Beks yesterday but I haven't forgotten my girls...and their sweet families...my grand babies are, in my opinion, some of the very best!!!! Adyen Parker will be 9 years old very soon and he still comes in and gives his grammy a hug...I was wondering the other day...if and when that will stop...I hope never...I hope he always likes to come to Grammy and Poppy's...give me a hug and just hang with us...I know to a degree he will out grow us but I also know we could be a safe place for him...that is what I want for him and all of them....now mind you all the boys will give me hugs...and I love them all!!! He is just the oldest so I fear his hugs may stop sooner!!!!! NOOOOO!!!! He is very sensitive just as our Caleb is...they both have deep questions about Jesus...as they grow and attempt to make sense out of this crazy thing we call life...they all (6 of them) love to giggle...and even snuggle...some easier than other but they will all take a time of snuggles with the Grams! I have loved watching Landon bloom in his new school this year...he has a lot more smiles this year than last...I know when the Ball family moved to Florida it was so very hard on Ayden...because he left everything he knew...and the move back was just as hard on Landon b/c he moved back here and left everything he knew there!!!! He is becoming quite the little man this year...and Cams...our kindergarten Rooster...reading already...funny...I'm sure he will be voted class clown more than once in his lifetime!!!! Rylee and Caleb also are loving kindergarten...the ladies are chasing him and she is proud that at this point she hasn't clipped down ONE TIME!!!! She reminds me of her momma the way she will be so quiet in the background...just patiently waiting for you to say hi or hug her...then she bounces along her merry way!!!! Never feeling ignored...she is just quiet...and then there will be that every ONCE IN  A WHILE when she will talk your leg off...sweet girl...oh and our Laney Kate...mess baby girl!!! She is our miss priss and all that comes with it...she knows how to carry a purse and smack you with it all at the same time...Grammy has enjoyed her this year...

and my girls...my friends...I love them so much...I'm so proud of the paths they are all walking on...I'm so very thankful I can call them my friends...and I'm thankful I can say my sweet daughter in law is one too! They are all amazing women of the Lord...a dream come truein all of them...2 of them are amazing mommies...something they did not learn from me...again thankful for grace...they understand their rolls (all 4 of them) so much better than I did at that age...and they all 4 grasp the fact that each step they place their foot on is a mission field...I look forward in the years to come to see 2 more of them become mamma's and and I have no doubt they will be amazing as well...

And for my Son in laws...so very thankful that they will come hang out with us...I think we, overall, enjoy each other! We are not a perfect family...and at times we have a small bit of tension...but each one of us would be there for the other one...if and when needed...God I am overwhelmed by these people I get to call mine...thank YOU...thank you to the parents of the ones who have joined us by choice...thank YOU for trusting ME to be their mom...their Grammy...for 2nd chances...God you are GOOD!!!

...a jumbled mess of thankfulness...

How do I begin to say how thankful I am...November will soon be upon us and those of us who are faithful (or addicted addicts) to Facebook will be putting a daily...I am thankful for... on our status...but I have found myself thinking the last few days of all I'm thankful for already...and let me tell you...it is all running through my head like a jumbled up mess!!!!

Yesterday in church I was worshiping as Michael and Bekah led us...and I found myself thankful...for the one my son has found...the love they share is very apparent between the two of them...they had pulled a little prank on someone yesterday and it was just about all they could both do to keep from bursting out in laughter at any given moment...but then true worship started...I love to see my children worship...don't you...is there anything sweeter...maybe a grandbaby raising hands to the Lord...back to Michael and Beks...she follows his lead so well...in a marriage isn't that how it is suppose to be? I was a bit overwhelmed by it...

Then my step dad...Tucker was taking up the offering and I just glanced his way...and again...I was overwhelmed by the thought of just how lucky I have been to have this special person in my life over the last 34 plus years...I even found myself envious of his children...what an honor to be able to call him dad...and watch the Lord do a transforming miracle in  their daddy's life over the years...I too, am thankful to have witnessed it...he is a good man...not a perfect man...but still a good man...and a man who has taken such good care of my mom! He has a place in my heart that no one else can have...it is his place...he earned...or maybe a better word is he...won it...and I am thankful for him...I have stood by the grave to two other men in my life that have help to form me into the woman I have become...one I told and the other I just assumed he knew...I am overwhelmed with the fact that I do NOT want to take people for granted again...

We have two new "daughters" this year...and I have come to love them both very deeply already...they are very different girls...much like my own children are all very different...but they each have a place in my heart that will forever be there...I am thankful for our Sasha and the way she is opening up to us more and more...I desire nothing more than for her to have true joy...and peace in her sweet life...I love to see her face light up with a smile...and for our Sofia...she has embraced us with open arms...and as she transitions into our lives I want nothing more for her either...joy...peace...HOPE...I am overwhelmed that God choose Scott and I once again be apart of two young ladies lives...Lord...give us wisdom...love...

We spent a little time appreciating our pastor and his sweet family yesterday...again thankful...thankful they are still standing...they are a picture to the world what Jesus can and will do...if only we will seek Him above our feelings...wants...pain...HE IS EVERYTHING...and HE IS ENOUGH...I am thankful that they are willing to let us know that and see that first hand...although...truth be told...we are all the same...if we as believers are standing it is by the grace of God...and the transforming power of Jesus Christ!!!!

...I have more to be thankful for and it will be coming soon...but I want to end with this one more thing I am overwhelmed with...

my heritage...as far as with the Lord...has not got a great track record...my mom and step dad are changing that but as for my grandparents I just know I never saw or heard about Jesus...all I know is I never really heard about the Lord as a child except when His name was being miss used...I want so much for my children...grandchildren...and all the extras that join us along the way to know a heritage of Jesus from our home...to know we love Him...serve Him and desire to love Him above all else...to laugh...and to cry...and to know there is hope in HIM...

I was driving to see my mom the other day...and I past my grandparents old farm...they have both been gone for quite some time now and their farm has been sold a few times since...but now...a church has purchased the land and will be building on it in the future...as I past the other day I notice this on the property...

the sun was just coming onto the cross...with the fog still there...to see a church...and the hope of the cross on my grandparents property brings great joy to me...and I believe, it brings great joy to them as well...I believe no matter their choice in life...that would want us...their legacy...their family...their ancestors to know that the hope of this world...and eternity is found only in the cross...I know this may sound so silly but the emotions that I had that morning was...overwhelming...

As we begin to embrace the holiday season...may be be overwhelmed in HIM...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6oxXwRWFTo 

Sweet Katie

Well my baby turned 24 today...I cannot believe how time flies! She has reached her goal of becoming a teach at McDonald County High School. I can't tell you how excited and proud that makes me...while none of my children are perfect...they all have a heart for the Lord...I think all the kids would agree that Katie was not afraid to be bold at times during her 4 years in high school...and now she goes back as an adult...and teacher that will have a hand in helping to influence our next generation of leaders...I trust God will once again use her in the halls of our high school...I believe she will do her very best to see each student through the blood stain eyes of our Savior... She is such a sweet person...beautiful inside and out...I am so thankful that God allowed...trusted me to be her momma...and that she chooses me to be a friend...Katie...have a fantastically amazing birthday weekend...I love you momma

Heros

I have a few people in my life that I would call my heros. For one reason or another they have impacted my life or I admire a strength I see in them! One would be my son...I have watched him overcome a few obstacles in his life that have truly been a battle for him...you might not think so or the world may not think so but Michael and I both know he has overcome...through Christ...in this moms eyes he IS one of my hero's...and to see him be the husband I always knew was in there...WOWO...he had...in my opinion...the greatest teacher/example living with him as he grew to be the man he is today...with that said...Scott and I would both say...all credit goes to The Lord and the grace He has lavished on our family over the years. My girls are each one a hero to me in different ways...while each one is different...I have no doubt that each one of them would rise to the occasion each faces on a daily basis in their lives...Cassie for her willingness to trust Jesus enough to follow Him to scary places (I am not just talking about moving!)...to Heather and Bekah who have both allowed us to see an upclose picture of what it means in the scripture when it says He will make beauty from ashes...Oh if we were all willing and trusting enough to allow The Lord the make beauty from our ashes...and my Katie...who at such a young age has taught me what a consuming fire for The Lord looks like...she had a passionate heart for her high school all 4 years...for people to know Christ...and now she returns as an adult/teacher with the same passion...may that passion be caught... My last hero...who teaches me everyday...Scott...I was thinking the other day for words that would discribe him...goofy...silly...funny....loving...true meaning of daddy/poppy...provider...friend...but the number one word that overall discribes him...joyful...Christ follower. Obviously my life is full of Christ followers and I do not mean to take from them or their walk/witness but I do not live with them...I live with Scott Griffith...I am the one person who can tell you if he lives it or not...he is just who he is...everywhere...everyday...you may like him...you may not but he is real...authentic... I have had a few young people cross my path as well that I am amazed at them and what they have overcome as well...however, with all this said..I am learning that I am blessed to have each of these precious people in my life...to be able to witness each of them overcome challenges through Christ...but...my eyes and my trust cannot be in them...they are human...they will let me down...just has I have let them down more times than I care to count...Christ must be my focus...my true understanding of hero...the One who willingly laid His life down...who willingly obeyed the Father even when it was hard and scary and lonely...the One who loves me more than anyone else even has the ability to!

I pray He will always speak...open my ears to hear and my eyes to see...

This morning as I was driving to church, I had a few people on my heart and I thought I should be praying for them...and I realized immediately that I had NOT been praying for them like I should have...and for some that came to mind, I hadn't prayed at all!!! The Lord very clearly spoke to my heart this morning...Lori...truly...who DO you pray for faithfully other than your own immediate family or yourself?...This MUST change! It is a choice...truth is, do I even care???? Do I believe He is the power-to help-to heal-to save-to overcome the things in our lives we struggle with and do I believe He gives answers to questions we seek? While I believe that as a wife, mother and Grammy I should be their #1 prayer warrior, I must start seeing outside my own little "world"...and as I was writing the notes for this post in church...all theses names came to my mind...families...individuals...loved ones...even people I hardly know...I could close my eyes and see each sweet face...some just need encouragement, others need healing...others need financial burdens met...while others need a relationship with Jesus Christ...the names went on and on...Lord open my eyes...break my heart...restore to me the joy of YOUR salvation...

Beauty from Ashes

Today is another anniversary...Harold...I would say has been gone...but truth is Harold has been HOME for 1 year today...I stopped by the cemetery last night because I had not seen his tombstone yet...I wasn't even thinking about today being August 7th...I cried a few more tears...because selfishly I miss him...oh but the thought of him and our sweet poppa in glory!!! I can't even find the words to describe what that must be like for either of those great men! The moment both of those great men left our presence to be in the presence of their Savior I have thought of them, missed them, cried over them...rejoiced for them...but over this last year I've found myself wondering what is it like...I know there are no more tears for them because Jesus promised to wipe them all away! Do you ever wonder what they see on a daily (does daily exist in eternity?) basis? The colors, the majesty...the glory...do they have a job or do they worship none stop at the throne...I trust and believe that they love us but wouldn't trade where they are for one more minute with us...and they long for us to join them...I know the angels in heaven rejoiced...heck they partied because of Adyson's decision to follow Christ a few weeks ago...but what was the look on poppa's face...oh the wonder of it all! I want to say we have survived this last year because of the men who have gone one before us because they did have a great impact on that...knowing they would want us to go on...to be OK...but may we never EVER forget the grace that abounds on a daily basis for our great God...as my Caleb and Rylee would say...the ONE TRUE GOD!!!...He has been the ONE who sustained us this year...given us the power to make it through the hard days...the "1st's" that we all have to walk through. God to me...the ONE who saved me who healed (healing) me who saved our family from utter destruction who gifted me with this man I walk beside each day who gave me and trusted me with Cassie Diane Heather Michelle Michael Scott and Katie Elizabeth who blessed me with Ayden, Landon, Rylee, Caleb, Camden, Laney Kate and now with **** and ***** who will bless me with more to come from others!!! who allows me to stand before students weekly and pour into them who allows me to stand before women once in a while and share who took me from what I was and is in the process of making me into who He desires who has taught me about forgiveness and trust who has allowed me to finally have true friendships in my life who blessed our lives with Amy and Gastao and now we will have the honor of Sofia and Sasha who amazes me with His creation...the beauty and the wonder of it all... who made this last year bearable... My list could go on and on... One thing I don't do well...is play like everything is OK when it is not...play the whole "church" game...and that carries over into worship for me as well...I truly want to mean the songs that I am singing...we were worshipping the last Sunday morning and singing the words to "Draw me Close"...as I was singing the chorus...it hit me...do I mean this...(quick answer is yes)...but truth...do I live this...just think about these words... Your all I want, Your all I ever needed Your all I want, help me know You are near it is REALLY true...is He all I want...until...the cravings start...cravings for ANYTHING OR ANYONE our flesh desires...whether that is a struggle with food, drugs, sex, alcohol...porn, social media, TV, video games, advancement in our career (even the career advancement in the ministry), our education, our children having everything they want...that special someone...our own sinful fleshly desires... True scripture today for me...Mark 9:24...Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” that is ME!!!! I say I believe out of one side of my mouth while the other side is saying...help my unbelief... truth is God loves us (thank YOU!!!!) and until we take our last breath we are a work in progress...we will work out our salvation with fear and trembling... I don't know about you but that all gives me hope...to see that I am not who I want to be BUT I am not who I once was either...to know that I am a work in progress and that I will be until my last breath...to know that God is real...I KNOW He is real because I KNOW what He has done in my life...I don't have to debate evolution or another argument because HE HAS DONE GREAT THINGS IN MY LIFE and that is enough proof for me! I want to close with the words of this song... We're singing you are holy great and mighty The moon and the stars declare who You are I’m so unworthy but still You love me Forever my heart will sing of how great You are

The difference a year makes!

Today is Michael's 28th birthday...this last year has been the largest of his life I would say! He has a year of marriage under his belt...he has 2 kids that he will pour Jesus into for as long as he can...he has grown as a man so much! I love to watch the way he loves Bekah...he loves her well...he makes her beautiful gifts...he protects her...he comforts her...he lights up still when she walks into the room... I want you to know Michael that I am so proud of the man you are...I'm thankful that you have found the grace to forgive a messed up mom and allowed me the honor of witnessing your journey through this life...I'm beyond happy that God brought Bekah into your life and our lives...I cannot wait to see what this next year holds for you! Always remember to serve the Lord above all else...then the rest is blessed from the overflow of that...I love you! Happy birthday!!!!

What's it like?

Well it's been a long year without you...we've all missed you in the chair...on the tractor...working hard...but I find myself asking some many questions that I know you can't answer...but one day when we see you again...you will! So here goes... What was Maw maw's first response when she saw you... Is there just one street of gold... What are the colors like... I know you've seen Jesus...but have you met Paul yet...or Jonah...or Abraham (you could tease him about being the father of many!!!) Is worship in heaven...traditional or contemporary???...one thing I'm sure of it is authentic and for an audience of One... What does your mansion look like? What is one thing you would want us all to know...from your perspective now??? What is a year in GLORY like... It must be amazing...because I do know Truth...and I do know you wouldn't choose any of us over it, so it must be amazing! For us...again we've missed you...but you left us so many things...you left your strength...and you taught us about Jesus...which means you left us HOPE...you left us a legacy of love...a couple of your greats that are in our home ALOT still speak of you...and once in a while they even tear up and say how much they miss you...which is hard but we rejoice in the memories they are still having of you... It has been along year...at times a very difficult year...but a year in GLORY for you...the joy...the majesty you must see...I can think of so many worship songs we sing today that MIGHT begin to give a slight glimpse... This song is the revelation song: Clothed in rainbows of living color Flashes of lighting rolls of thunder Blessing and honor strength and glory and power be To You the only wise King Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty Who was and is and is to come With all creation I sing praise to the King of kings You are my everything and I will adore You Filled with wonder awestruck wonder At the mention of Your name Jesus Your name is power, breath and living water Such a marvelous mystery Scott and I both love this song...but I know maybe it isn't your taste...so in closing...just for you pops... I feel like traveling on... My heav’nly home is bright and fair, I feel like traveling on; Nor pain nor death can enter there, I feel like traveling on. Refrain: Yes, I feel like traveling on, I feel like traveling on; My heav’nly home is bright and fair, I feel like traveling on. Know you are forever this side of Heaven missed...

Do overs...

Do you ever have those times that you wish you could have a do over...well I did...as we were worshipping the Lord through song yesterday morning...the Lord just filled my heart with words...things I wish I could do over...and I don't share them because I am down, but rather as an encouragement or a "learn from my mistakes" for those mommas out there who are having once again..."one of those days!!!!"... first and foremost I would have allowed God to fill me to overflowing so that I could have poured into my husband and my kids more of what they needed... I would have hungered and thirsted for righteousness more and less of self... I would have spent more time in the Word before I spent time in the world... I would have prayed more...and asked for prayer without being so "self reliant"... I would have hugged more and hit less...laughed more and ordered less baseboards washed...loved more through the lies and prayed for us all to learn the lessons needed during those times... I would have desired my children's characters to be more important than opinions of what others thought... I will say this...the Lord's mercies are new every morning and I am so thankful...thankful for the Lords mercy and the mercy shown to me by my children and my husband...in the end...I learned hard lessons and learned to appreciate the times together...the hard stuff and the funny stuff! Being a momma is hard...REAL hard...but it comes with a joy that is indescrible...be encouraged...know one piece of Truth...God have them to YOU...He trusted YOU...and...if you are willing to let Him...He will equip you with all you need to be their momma... in closing I want to share this from Angela Thomas...bible teacher and fellow momma: Kids need their mom: 1.To pray in secret with the door open. 2.To never stop touching them. 3.To hang hearts of love over their lives. 4.To watch them go out of sight. 5.To keep a date night with dad. 6.To make them sit around the table . . . and linger. 7.To let her yes be yes and her no be no. 8.To be delayed, rerouted and canceled with poise. 9.To make them wait to take a bite. 10.To take Christmas to people who have nothing. 11.To miss a few things they do wrong. 12.To put down the phone. 13.To learn their unique love language. 14.To occasionally be a supermom. 15.To turn their beds down at night. 16.To ride a roller coaster . . . for the first time. 17.To talk to them like they are fascinating. 18.To treat their friends like family. 19.To cheer wildly from the stands. 20.To give grace-filled consequences. 21.To be a passionate, alive, spiritual lover of God. 22.To indulge their silly. 23.To have a hallelujah party. 24.To keep a family blog. 25.To become physically and emotionally healthy. 26.To become spiritually healthy. 27.To believe they will not grunt forever. 28.To make a big deal out of God. 29.To keep her promise. 30.To wait on them hand and foot . . . when they are sick. 31.To tell them to buy another token and keep swinging. 32.To pray them home and for the will of God. 33.To be a “groovy” mom. 34.To teach them how to know the voice of God. 35.To believe in their strengths and speak life into their gifts. 36.To make a home where grace lives. 37.To throw down the “MOM card.” 38.To tell them what she’d do differently. 39.To make a big deal out of grandparents and extended family. 40.To teach them how to keep their money straight, in order, facing the same direction. 41.To be patient about things like thumb-sucking and pacifiers. 42.To let them make really dumb mistakes without condemnation. 43.To introduce them to her friend named Jesus. 44.To set the tone for the family. 45.To teach them to genuinely respect all people, cultures, denominations and creeds. 46.To teach the boys how to love a wife. 47.To teach the girls how to love a husband. 48.To identify the characteristics of a fool and tell them what to do when they meet one. 49.To train them to listen to her. 50.To teach them not to be easily offended. 51.To live as single moms with amazing lives. 52.To teach them a gracious and generous hospitality. One more...from me...be their biggest cheerleader...and encourager...be their momma and their friend...but momma comes first!!!!!

the battle of my will

Scott taught a lesson a few weeks ago to our students...he asked them..."who does Jesus love"...their response..."Jesus loves us"...yes but more than that Scott taught them...Jesus love YOU! Jesus loves Ashley, Jesus loves Hannah, Jesus loves Jacobi, Jesus loves Justin...and on and on he went around the room...that is such a simple truth and yet it is HUGE!!!...this week I taught on the washing of the disciples feet...and again...as I pictured my Savior washing each foot...including the feet of Judas...the love He has for us all humbles and amazes me...even when we reject Him...then again, yesterday in class Scott taught on Jesus' eyes meeting Peters as he denied the Lord the 3rd time...and he asked us what we felt when someone just starts looking directly into our eyes and most of us agreed that we feel uncomfortable...at the end of the lesson he asked everyone to close their eyes...and picture...Jesus...looking at us straight in the eyes...immediately (even in my mind's eye)...my eyes dropped...I could NOT do it...I could NOT meet the gaze of my Savior...because I fail Him so much...I am so unworthy of those eyes...and yet...all the words I've heard the last few weeks came back...and I could "see" my Savior gently raise my chin...looking straight at me and saying I love YOU...for no other reason than because I simply...do...I love YOU... Profound visual lesson for me yesterday...but you may be asking why share that?...because so much of the weight I lost is back on...and I know that I must be obedient to the Lord about this and I simply am not...that is a lot of the reason I couldn't look at my Savior...because of my disobedient heart...because I want food more than Him...and yet...He loves ME...He reminded me of that again today...you see I am very nervous today...and I bought something I should not have in my house with this battle...with the justification...I will feed it to the kids...but nervous eater that I am...well...you get the picture...right? and as I was debating with myself to indulge in even more that I already had...all of the sudden I felt His hands on my chin again...gently raising it up, looking me right in the eyes and saying...whether you eat it of not I love you...and I finally had a victory...you see, because I know also, I love Him too...and my disobedience put Him on that cross...so finally I met his gaze...and I found strength...courage...will power...whatever you want to call it...to stop eating that bad thing...(ok...I know you are curious...powdered donuts ok!)and as I write this I am eating fresh strawberries (and yes WITHOUT sugar!)...may He give you sweet victories in your life as well (yes this victory was sweeter than any donut could ever be!)...and He will...and you do know why right? Yes...because He loves YOU!!!!

I loved you as the Father loved me. Now remain in my love...John 15:9

my mind is wondering these days...

I can feel the words welling up inside of me...actually have felt them for some time but just can't seem to gather the thoughts enough to get them written...but today...they are there wanting so badly to get out...and yet still the thoughts are jumbled...so we will see what God gives me today... My mind has been on overload the past several weeks...mulling things over...remembering sweet people I miss...some who have gone on and others who have just moved on...either way...they each had a tender place in my life and miss them I do! I find myself wishing I had said this or done that with them while the time was available to me...I have times I am good at that but I have more times that I STINK at that... Scott and I went to a conference several weeks ago...it was a much needed time in our lives...the word we heard what amazing...the time we had together was sweet and we both came home encouraged...Emmanuel has started something new...men's and women's bible study on Sunday nights...I have missed Bible Study so much and it has been like a breath of fresh air to be apart of it again! I have read a few books lately (which I have not allowed myself to do in quite a long time for personal reasons)...one I am reading at this point is AHA by Kyle Idleman...would recommend it... The Lord has been waking me up at the oddest hours and speaking to me...putting people on my mind that I haven't thought of in years...but I know in and of myself I am not good enough to "just think" of them so I pray for them b/c over the years I'm learning that is why He brings them to mind...but He also woke me up very, very early one morning and reminded me of all His blessings in our lives...like a visual movie...the scenes and the faces each flashed before my eyes...reminding me of the things that are truly important in life...showing me that even though we may not be where we want to be financially He has blessed us above and beyond this year...after I worked on our taxes...I found out we even made less that we did last year and yet He has helped and blessed us so much! We know 2 different families that will say very difficult goodbyes in the very near future...as they embark on a new adventure...no not adventure...a new calling on their lives...they will move to different parts of the world and reach out to a lost and dying world to share the only Hope there is in this world...I pray for them and their families as they say the very hard goodbyes...but pray also for the excitement that I know they have has they begin serving in the areas God has called them to and equipped them for...I pray over the 7 children that will say goodbye to grandparents, cousins other family and friends...trusting them to Jesus as they also are called to serve beside their mommas and daddies...I pray for the families left here...pray they understand how important this call is...how important the obedience is...understand the danger in having our families here with us yet out of the will of God...they are not ours...they never were...He just loaned them to us...trusted us with them...and now...we must trust Him with them...the Lord taught me that several years ago...as much as I love my family...He loves them so much more... This year/winter has been the longest ever...but spring is coming...I dare say even that spring is here!!! If you have time listen to this link...this best describes the way this last year has been...it has been one long Friday...feeling defeated...but our hope is in this Truth...SUNDAYS coming...! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YByT6wfdhJs

another one is 30...

Well today Heather is 30...I promise you I can close my eyes and still see that little dark haired baby girl as I packed her up and brought her home less that 12 hours old! You see I had a 14 month old at home and I thought I needed to get back home ASAP....(I did learn by the time Michael came to stay rest...enjoy!) My saving grace during those first few months with 2 babies is that Heather was the best baby we had in our house...she was very content just watching all that was going on around her...the one thing we have known however, for many years about Heather was...she can be very stubborn...I was lucky in the fact that she didn't show that everyday of her life...but when she did...oh baby you might as well...deal with what was at hand...if that meant a discipline...or whatever...do and go one because her mind would NOT be changed!!!! I am keeping a little one now that has very much brought that back to mind lately in my life...good most of the time...BUT when the stubborn streak comes out...forget it! There are things and looks that Rylee Belle does that takes me back 20 plus years in an instant...she grins just like her momma did at that age and she is prissy just like her momma was at that age...and she can cut her eyes at you just like her momma could/does...in our family...honestly will call that the Sunny look...not everyone has that ability you know! I say it every year...but every year that I am allowed still here with each of my kids I am amazed at the grace and forgiveness they have given me...I know it is a picture of what the Lord has/is doing in their lives and mine! I pray that today, Heather, you know just how loved you are...how special you are...what gifts and talents you have...I've seen on facebook all the ladies saying thank you for making the Ladies retreat happen...again I see a heart for women's ministry...a heart to teach children about Jesus...and momma's heart that desires to see her children growing up loving Jesus...and a wife who supports her husband and spurs his walk with the Lord on! I pray many victories in your life over the next year...many surprises and many doors to be opened for you! I love you my sweet girl...and my friend...have a blessed day...(and just wait for 30th party...its gonna be a blast!!!!)

Overwhelmed by His blessings

We start Bible Study again this weekend...we haven't done Bible Study for a while now and I am so excited! I have recently completed this study on my own...it is a very personal study for me and God revealed much to me in our time alone...and now...because there are no coincidences in the life of a christian I will be a part of a group doing this study...while I am somewhat nervous about the study because it was so personal to me...I am so excited to see what God will say again...or a new and fresh...I'm excited that we have a group of ladies that are hungering and thristing for the Word in their lives...I am excited that our men will begin study as well...I've thought many times over the past year about how Bible study was introduced to me...as a very young momma I was invited to a Bible Study in Bella Vista...it was a sweet time in my life and a time that I can remember that for the first time...God became real to me...relevent to me in my personal everyday life...then almost 20 years ago I was introduced to a deeper kind of study...a deeper kind of relationship with the Lord, one that went beyond saying a prayer and knowing that I was saved from hell...one that has, much like a love story, taken my breath away...one that saves me not only from hell but from myself...from the daily struggles that come to us all...one that has allowed me to meet my Savior in my everyday life...I am grateful for those who have poured into my life over the years and for those who will continue to pour into my life...I pray I am able to pour into others as well...truly the only thing I can share with someone is what I've been taught...simple truth really...God's Word will change our lives...if we make time for it...for HIM! I am also overwhelmed about our up coming weekend...it has honestly been years since Scott and I have gotten away by ourselves...and the Lord has absolutely given us a 3 day get away this weekend...we are attending the "Refresh in the Ozark" conference in Branson...I've planned for a year for us to attend this...so we or rather I have had this on my agenda for some time now so when God gave it to us we were both sitting with our mouths on the floor...saying God You are so good and we are so undeserving and humbled....the registration was paid for by our church...then out of no where I sweet friend and her husband, I gradutated high school with blessed us with our room at a place we could have never stayed at! They will never know truly how God used them to bless us...not just with a room but...His goodness...His blessing...I still cannot find the words to explain how God used their generosity to touch our hearts...not just by two people who just obeyed...but by the way God loves us...I have looked even more forward to this weekend because of all of this I just know He has something for us...during the conference but also a time just for us...but God wasn't done yet blowing us away...our kids gave us a trip last summer and because I am a goof head we didn't get to take that weekend...and I forgot about it...well I found that money the other day...now our food is even paid for!!! Truly we are overwhelmed... Life has just amazing moments in it...and hard times that seem we will never survive...and yet we do...by His grace and mercy..."The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still" Exodus 14:14...in our world...being still and knowing He is God is very difficult to do...but we must do it...by faith I will be still...by faith I will be strong and courageous...my sweet sister...allow God to overwhelm you...

32 years

It is 4:30 in the morning...the day you return from India...I can't sleep again...fair warning...the snoring may be horrible in our home tonight...between you and me and sweet rest finally for us both! I feel like a teenager again waiting for my prom date to show up...truly this day will be one of the longest days ever... because: I've missed you beyond words... it is our anniversary eve... I cannot wait to talk about what all the Lord has done and revealed to you in the last week... and finally...I think I truly get it...you know...how the Bible says and the two shall become one...half of me has been missing... I think back over the years and I've said it many times...thank you for loving me when truly...you shouldn't have...and for loving Jesus enough to keep your vows...when in the worlds eyes you should have given up...and there was a very distinct period of time that we all call "THE TIME" that was so difficult...do you remember...I do...every time I look at pictures from then...and see the sadness in your eyes (shut up Michael!)...but this year...ugh what a year it has been for us...I don't ever want a repeat...and yet...Jesus...just like all the hard times in the past has been so faithful and true...He has been our peace and our refuge...and while this year has held GREAT sadness for us...I can look back in pictures of the year and see...peace...joy...and faithfulness in you...we've lived long enough and walked with HIM long enough now to know that peace...peace that surpasses all understand...only comes from the Lord... It cracks me up so much to hear peoples perspectives of what they "think" our lives have been all these years...if only...if only they could have been there witnessing...our lives...like everyone else, it has been a learning along the way kind of thing...thankful this side of the trials for the lessons we have learned...for the trust we have learned to have in the Lord through each one...I've said so many times how thankful I am to Jim and Kim Day for coming...for teaching us what it looks like to do REAL life with Jesus...but the truth is...I am thankful to the Lord for sending them...He did it...He hand picked those vessels to teach us about Himself...He uses you to teach me about Himself...in you I see a man who loves incredibly deep...beginning with the Lord...I know that is what allows you to love me...us as deeply as you do...I see a man who is so humble...who is a servant from the very core of yourself...who is an encourager...all those notes you have written over the years...mostly to our children...you probably will never know the full impact of those...a man who can be called a man after God's own heart... I am scared a little for you to come home because even though we haven't spoken...I can "hear" in your text that you are not coming back to me the same man who left a week ago...I know change is coming...and what that looks like scares me, excites me...all the above! I am so thankful you will be home in time for our anniversary...honestly...this is a new one...you ready to hear it...I am glad we get to spend it with our students...a passion that we have both come to love so much! I cannot wait to see you in 12 hours...Scott Griffith...I love you...you are the love of my life...happy, happy, happy anniversary Beth

Why go...

As we post pictures of the 3 wise men on their journey...keeping you updated as we are updated...do you find yourself wondering why they went? Why they spent the money, took the time off of work and time away from their families? Why they would risk it all to go? When the tsunami hit in Asia all those years ago (2004)...all day long all I could think of was...how many people were ushered into Hell that day...many of them without every hearing the name of Jesus...now that may offend you or make you upset at the Lord...but He asked us to go...and because we are disobedient...there are and will continue to be people who should have heard but haven't...so that is one reason they went...the main reason they went... Many of us like to "watch" people at the mall or wherever...as a believer...does it every cross your mind about their eternal destiny? I know we may have varied opinions on who we are to "reach" and some think we should stay here and reach our own...but the Lord tells us in 2 Peter 3:9..."The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance"...you see it doesn't matter if the lost person lives in your house...across the street, town, state, country or world...the Lord desires all to come to repentance! Do you have a heart...by that I mean...does it ever...fellow believer...cross you mind a stranger that dies today may die without the Lord...and what that means if they do... You see, really this is not a matter to debate...nor is it a matter of opinion...other than the Lords opinion...Acts 1:8..."But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” and Matthew 28:19-20..."Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” It isn't an opinion...it is what we are to do as believers...I understand that we cannot all go for varied reasons...but I pray those reasons are NEVER simply because we do not want to...maybe it is our late age before we understand this truth and cannot go, or health reasons...but we can ALL participate in this...first we can all share with those in our house, across the street...at work or Wal-Mart...2nd we can financially help support those who can physically go...and most importantly we can pray...pray for the lost world around us...from right in front of our faces to the uttermost ends of the earth...the words of the Lord...Isaiah 6:8..."Then I heard the Lord’s voice, saying, “Whom can I send? Who will go for us? So I said, “Here I am. Send me!” Will you go...at least to your knees on behalf of the lost of this world...

Birthdays...

As most of you know...I love to write when someone special to me has a birthday...but what you may not know is I cannot write unless the Lord is speaking to my heart...so my apologies in advance to Cassie and Ayden...I guess my heart has been a funk...The Lord is speaking to my heart about that funk...and it is time to get up and out of it! (That will be another blog!) So today I will just catch up if you will on these birthdays that seem to come faster and faster! Our sweet oldest grandchild turned 8 years old on the 4th! It is so hard to believe that he is that old...almost double digits...1/2 way to 16...wow time is flying...He is a little character for sure...very careful to choose his words so that he will not hurt your feelings...(he is sensitive that way!) He is in the 2nd grade now and very smart...says he doesn't really like to read but does an amazing job at it...never ceasing to amaze us! He asked Jesus into his heart this year...such a joy for this grammy! Each year that passes I realize how short our time truly is and the fact that really only one thing will matter in life...What did we do with Jesus...Ayden will follow his Savior into his future now...he loves his siblings but he for sure has a soft spot for that baby sister of his...he still thinks uncle Michael is the bomb.com...although I hear a lot this year about how smart his daddy is and how he wants to grow up and do the things his dad does...he still loves to give you hugs...he always comes into the room...gives me a hug and says...hey grammy! Melts my heart! I pray Ayden Parker...that you grow up to be like your Poppy...you see he is my hero...he loves each one of us uniquely and yet he loves all the same...and his desire is for each of us...from me to the youngest grandbaby is for us to know Jesus, love Him, live for Him and experience Him to the fullest...and Ayden Parker...if you do...you will be an incredible man! That is my prayer for you! Cassie's birthday followed just a few short days later...and I am so proud of her as well...she has walked a road this year that has stretched her and grown her in many ways...she continues to learn to trust the Lord on a daily basis and much like her momma, when He provides her mouth hits the floor as if she (or we) can't believe that just happened! She led a bible study this year in her home and I think she truly enjoyed the experience...she continues to pour Jesus into her kiddos and that is what she is called to do in this season of life (however, does that season ever go away...I don't think so...it just looks different in different stages of their lives)...I wish peace for her this year...peace and joy that comes only from the Lord! Today the twins turn 5 and we have celebrated all day long...they came in bouncing (literally!)...they are going to go to school next year and I think my life will be very different...I have kept them since they were born...they are the first of the grandkids they I've kept that long...they love Jesus so much and they love to talk about Him...sing about Him and dance before Him...they have changed so much the last year...but I continue to say they are mini me's of their parents...although I see both parents in both kids as times...Caleb is a mini Donnie and the Belle is her momma made over...(which is justice for me!). They will take up for one another if they think someone is picking on them...and they have a hard time being apart...my prayer for them this year is that they will not have separation anxiety! I am blessed with my January babies...from the oldest to the youngest!

Your enough...until something or someone else comes along...

Another early morning for me...can't sleep...headache! I got up and took some migraine meds and now here I am...words rolling over and over in my head so I thought I might as well put them down! Scott leaves for India in about 9 days and so we had all the grandkids over last night for a slumber party! It was...loud! But we had a great time! They are all asleep this a.m. except Cams...he is our early riser! I dreamt about Harold and Willie again last night...I've done that several times the past few months...I find myself mulling between two different places...wondering why they had to go...why we couldn't have them a little longer...and on the other side of it...wondering what they are seeing and experiencing in Heaven...but I also find myself very fearful, wondering who will be gone next...I am even a little afraid when I say goodbye to Scott...well you know... I like to talk the big talk..."know" the answers to say...and I DO know it is truth...and I DO believe it...but do I walk it out daily in my life? Lord, I've had seasons in my life where I get up daily and spend good time with You...reading Your word...praying, listening to some amazing worship music...sweet times...and then comes distraction...sometimes in forms of joy...others in forms of hard things and my eyes are moved from you to whatever has distracted me...I say you are enough...You are all I need...and then I look another place...knowing I've grabbed hold of another lie...I find myself in this place again...wondering around looking for You yet not quite able to find You...I want to fix all the things around me...the hurt my sweet family is experiencing right now...the losses...the difficult things...the questions we have and yet I can't...Lord help me to simple trust...trust You...trust that You have a way bigger plan than I can comprehend...the words of Mark 9:24 comes to me this morning...“I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” I know as human beings this is something we all struggle with at times...we say Jesus...you are all I want in the world...until something or someone comes along that we want more...why do we do that...why do I do that...I've belonged to Jesus now for almost 25 years...I don't want this struggle anymore...and I can say the struggle is different to a degree than it was 25 years ago...and year at the core...at the heart it is still very much the same... So this morning I want to see truth...with only comes from one place...and it is NOT Ophrah, or Dr. Phil...or Joel Olsteen or even Billy Graham...but from the Truth of God's word... Psalm 9:10 Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you Psalm 28:7 The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him. Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. 1 Samuel 12:16 “Now then, stand still and see this great thing the Lord is about to do before your eyes! Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”---I LOVE THIS VERSE---truly where I am now... Isaiah 40:29 He gives strength to the weary And His Word goes on and on with great comfort for all the days of our lives...good, bad...HE IS THE LORD... So what about you...are you struggling...maybe Jesus was enough...until you realized...you are still single and you should have a family by now...so you are distracted...or maybe you should have a child by now...distracted...or you should have "more" whatever...stuff...better job...easier life...someone back...whatever "our" distraction is...can you find truth in God's word...You can...I promise...we just have to believe it...trust it...cling to it when we have nothing else to cling to...Jesus what life is about...He is truth...He is hope...He is all we need even when the world tells us otherwise...may we be found in HIM... This song has run through my mind for several hours already this morning...the song..."Oceans by Hillsong" You call me out upon the waters The great unknown, where feet may fail And there I find You in the mystery In oceans deep, my faith will stand And I will call upon Your name And keep my eyes above the waves When oceans rise My soul will rest in Your embrace For I am Yours, and You are mine Your grace abounds in deepest waters Your sovereign hand will be my guide Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me You've never failed, and You won't start now And I will call upon Your name And keep my eyes above the waves When oceans rise My soul will rest in Your embrace For I am Yours, and You are mine Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders Let me walk upon the waters Wherever You would call me Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander And my faith will be made stronger In the presence of my Savior x 6 I will call upon Your name Keep my eyes above the waves My soul will rest in Your embrace I am Yours, and You are mine I am Yours, and You are mine I am Yours, and You are mine I am Yours, and You are mine never heard it before...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLrQWVpoh7U