Worship...and Beks...

I had this blog floating around in my head yesterday but was never able to sit down at a computer long enough to get it written! As I was singing in church yesterday...I just was thinking...what a proud momma Bekah must have...you see yesterday was Bekah's birthday...and there she was on stage with her husband...not only leading worship...but truly worshipping herself! As believers, there is NOTHING we want more in this life than to see our children worshipping the Lord and living for Him...and here she is...CHOOSING...to spend her birthday with the Father! To you Miss Bekah I must saw...thank you for bringing joy to the 2 most important man in my life! I have watched 2 of the biggest changes in him in the last 4 years...the first...was when asked the Lord to save him...4 years ago this week...he was raised in church...basically made good choices (not that he hasn't had struggles)...he knew the "right" answers...and yet there was something missing that none of us knew...not even him until the Lord revealed it to him that special night...and since I've seen a change like words can't express...and the 2nd change came when you entered the picture...he has become whole now because the Lord has brought you into his life...I see you encouraging his walk with the Lord...I see him growing in the Lord...as a man and as a husband...you are a huge part of that! You have brought joy into our lives as you fit into our family perfectly! You are an amazing aunt and I know you think I'm hinting...and I promise I'm not but some day you and Michael are going to be amazing parents! Thank you for loving us all so well...Happy birthday again sweet girl! the real one! It dawned on me as I was watcher her it dawned on me...she was raised in church...could have gotten "tired" of it all and walked away...yet God CHOSE her for more...and I wasn't raised in church...survived my teen years without the Lord...and even into my early years of marriage not knowing HIM...and yet He CHOSE me too...so as Beks turns 25 and I turn 50...we stand and worship...all because the Lord is good and merciful and chose us!

Thoughts

Well the holiday season will officially be upon us in just a few short days! I will not lie, with the incredible lose our family has experienced this year I am somewhat dreading the holidays! But, God's grace was been with us each day, each moment that is and will be difficult He is and will be our strength! While the loss has been deep and wide...we have so much...we have kids and grand kids and each other. We have a community that cares and church families that have and are praying us through this! For all of this I want to say thank you! I have been attempting to get myself back into a quiet time like I know I need...yesterday our pastor was even speaking of that a little bit...when I need hope...I will find it in The Living Word...when I desire to hear from The Lord...He will primarily speak through His ward...when I need my faith to increase...yep...the Word...faith comes from hearing and hearing from the word of God...Romans 10:17...I have been reading in the Old Testament the past several weeks and I was reminded of a study I did many years about the tabernacle! If I am understanding it correctly, God started the fire on the altar of sacrifice and the priest were to never let the fire go out....the needed to keep "feeding" the fire...if you will, by keeping wood on it...God started a fire in my life 24 years ago...there was NOTHING I could do to start that myself...but I must feed it...through His word...don't misunderstand me, I don't believe the fire, once started by God, will ever go out (the fire of salvation). However, I do believe for my faith to increase...I must desire a daily walk....daily interaction with my Heavenly Father. That is...always will be my choice...make time for him...or not...I hate that I have to admit that to much of my time is wasted on the things of this world that simply do not matter... I, at this point in my life, have 2 generations following me...my children and my grandchildren...I desire for them to see the truths God is daily teaching me lived out in my life...for them to learn these lessons before the ripe old age of 50! With each pass day I am learning about this faith walk we call the Christian life...it is hard, it is work, it makes us stick out and be different...but never...in all my life have I experienced so worth it! The Lord gave me His all...my prayer...that I will spend the rest of my days...laying my life on that altar of sacrifice...dying to self...giving my all... Thankful for you all...happy thanksgiving!

Heavenly Birthdays...

If you have ever heard the song "I can only imagine"...you will know the words of that song are so beautiful... I find myself wondering some of those words today...wondering what that first birthday in Heaven is like...do people tell you happy birthday...or are you all so consumed with the glory of the Lord...that you don't even know it is your birthday? I've been consumed with the thought of what it will be like to stand in His presence...if indeed we are able to stand rather than be bowed before Him...wondering what you all think...wondering if you pass each other along the way...giving a thumbs ups to one another...funny thought just hit me poppa...your thumb is standing straight again!!!! I try so hard to picture the beauty you behold each and every day...the street of gold...the precious stones...the streams... I know there may be no balloons or cake today...or cornbread or beans...or some of Maw maw's Polk greens...but I know with all that is within me there is joy, and no pain...and there is lots of smiles...there is laughter...praise and worship... I know that we, this side of heaven, have worshipped in a Sunday morning services...and by the time the song ends we can feel the very presence of our Holy God...but you...you all ARE in His presence...and as bad as you are missed...as bad as we'd love to see those smiles one last time...or one last hug...or one last anything...where you are IS what life is about...you all have accomplished our purpose for life...you have run the race... "We are surrounded by a great cloud of people whose lives tell us what faith means. So let us run the race that is before us and never give up. We should remove from our lives anything that would get in the way and the sin that so easily holds us back. Let us look only to Jesus, the One who began our faith and who makes it perfect. He suffered death on the cross. But he accepted the shame as if it were nothing because of the joy that God put before him. And now he is sitting at the right side of God’s throne." Hebrews 12:1-2 Those who have run before us...Abraham, Moses, King David, Daniel, Esther, John, Paul...and the list we read about goes on and on and on...and yet God gives us lives to witness as well...Willie, Harold, Kathy...our witnesses that have given us the example...through Jesus Christ, how to run in this life...I have full confidence that each one would spur us on to the upward calling in Christ...their faith has become sight!!! I have a witness I live with everyday. Scott runs as hard and fast after Jesus as anyone I've ever known...to those in heaven we say happy birthday to you all this month...and to those of us here, left to walk this earth a while longer...what kind of baton will we be passing to the next generation...I'll close with a few words of one last song... It's all about You, Jesus And all this is for You For Your glory and Your fame, It's not about me As if You should do things my way You alone are God and I surrender...to Your Ways

Tambourine in the Dessert...

Long story...but just let me say...I WILL be purchasing a tambourine...please no peaking in our windows when I'm home alone with the Lord...because we will be doing some worshiping together! I had the honor of going away to a conference this weekend with my girls and a few ladies that I didn't really know...and had an amazing time! God spoke to my heart and now He and I have some hard work to do together! As worship started yesterday morning I was mesmerized once again by the sign language ministry! I know the people there who needed it had to have "felt" the beat of the worship through the drums that were being played...can you imagine..."feeling" in your soul the heart "beat" of the worship! As I was glued to that scene, I thought...as deaf believers in Christ...the first thing they will EVER hear is well done good and faithful servant...welcome home child! Oh, the thought of that makes me want to be shout God You ARE GOOD!!! Beth Moore taught out of Exodus 15, Numbers 12 and Revelation 15 primarily this past weekend and she taught on Miriam the sister of Moses. God spoke so clearly to me this weekend in a new and fresh way. One thing she shared with us is that...Nobody appreciates deliverance like those who've nearly been destroyed! Oh, the life cry of my life personally!...This life is a battle and if we just sit...we will be slaughtered...but...if we are fighting we are tired, sweaty, bruised and battered...may we, I, never forget...our God is closer and mightier than we have the capacity to imagine! As the children of Israel got to the other side of the sea they celebrated and Miriam lead the women in worship and dancing...do I have something to dance about? (Oh...YES I DO!) But then the wilderness came...(and it will come!) and lots of years she had to wonder God...what happened...so the next question I had posed to my...if I can't see a mighty work of God for 40 years...will I remain faithful to Him...trust that He is still there...He is still on the throne and He is still God...as American Christians I believe this is a very real possibility...will I stay faithful...I pray that I will...but until we are in the desert I don't think we can get to arrogant and prideful to say I will do this or I won't do that... Oh the joy of this statement..."I may not be where I'm going...but I am NOT where I used to be"...thank You JESUS!!! I cant' find the words to express all that God spoke this weekend... I also had the unexpected opportunity to share my testimony concerning our familys past...I wasn't planning on it so it took me by surprise but I knew once again the Lord wanted me to share...so I did...every time I do, I must battle the enemies desire to remind me how I failed my children and Scott and I have to battle giving into the emotions of feeling unforgiveable, and yet I'm learning that I have freedom from this past in Christ and in Him alone...but as I shared it this time...I was reminded how hard that time was...what a battle for months and months it was...even when I was finally broken...it took so loooooooong for us to rebuild from the damage my anger caused us...and while I can say I am (and yes I am) free from the guilt now...we still see signs every now and then where we have some damage control to deal with...it was hard...and God did a miraculous thing in my life and the life of my husband and the life of my children...and we stand today as a family unit because of our Savior! However, my Savior did not blow fairy dust in my face and "poof" it was gone...I was forgiven that quickly...I repented...and "poof" as far as the east is from the west my sin was removed...but then starts the daily...changing of a habit...a habit of, well...I don't want to go there this morning but the daily habit of my past sin...so I had people beside me that called it what is was...SIN...and there were days...I wanted to walk in it more than I wanted to walk with Jesus...because to be honest...some moments that seemed easier...(a lie from the pit of hell!). We need people to love us enough to call our sin, sin. I also learned to claim scripture during this time...when the old habit wanted to take over I would quote a scripture over and over until I knew I was hearing and obeying...I later learned what I was really doing was using the Word of God to take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ! So today I have this other struggle that really has been life long but God has really been speaking to me about it for the past probably 10 years...my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and I do not treat it well...He has helped me through so far, but it hit me this weekend that this problem is the same...it is hard...like the other one...I want the godly fairy dust blown in my face and "poof" no more struggle...and I DON'T want to change me from the inside out...but God said to me this weekend...where is the change in that, and how will you continue to learn to trust Me if "poof" it's gone with not effort of you relying on me to get through this...so the battle begins today with the Lord as the head of me! Please don't misunderstand me...with this whole "poof" thing...when we repent...truly repent "poof" we are forgiven...and even some struggles are gone that quickly...but other times, a lot of other times, once the forgiveness is given from the Lord...the work begins to daily learn to trust Him and seek Him as we walk day by day through the victory... I know in light of many other struggles this will seem silly to some if not most...but the fact is it is sin in my life...God has convicted me of it for years...and it is time to call it what it is...My name is Lori...(I've never said this opening before)...and I'm a food addict...Lord teach me to love you more than life, family, church and food...Lord...teach me to hunger and thirst for You and Your righteousness... I must say...the fact of the harsh matter is...what in our lives do we want more than Jesus...maybe it is success, money, fame, a relationship,...dare I say it...sex, food, family, purpose, approval in the eyes of others...Jesus IS the only thing that matters...Jesus and what we do with Him...think back to how this started...maybe we've been blinded by the sin of our lives, or maybe we have turned a deaf ear to the Lord...Oh, that we hear well done good and faithful servant...will we be faithful...even when it costs us something...maybe even everything? "The Lord is my STRENGTH and my defense, He has become my salvation. He is my God, and I WILL praise Him...Exodus 15:2"...and so I will pick up a tambourine...and I will dance before Him...in praise and worship...with my husband and my grandbabies...and He will help me to overcome this monster in my life...like He helped me to trust and fight a monster before in my life almost 15 years ago now! with my past, with the last few months with our family...and for our future...listen to the words of this song...because that is what life is about...Him and Him alone!

Katie Elizabeth

Well another year passes...I do not know where the time has gone...I can close my eyes and still see you the moment you were born...really you are the only one I can do that with because by the time you came I had learned a thing or two about appreciating what I had as a mother and how quickly each moment passes...all your siblings were so proud of you and for the most part I don't really think any of them really got over that...you are lucky that you were a little sister that they loved and were proud of...I rarely heard...mom get her out of here!!!...maybe you were special...maybe we just didn't let you guys do that and maybe there was a LOT of that behind my back...either way...I think it is safe to say you were and are an amazing added gift to our family! This year has been so very hard for us all...more losses than we care to mention...but for the believer in us...great celebrations as well! Your words you shared about Harold on your FB still give me goose bumps...You've always been able to have the eternal perspective...one of my most favorite things about you! I've missed you this year as you have stretched yourself in school and working with your own youth group...but I wouldn't trade that for anything...I love seeing each one of you kids finding your "place" in the body and serving there...and serving well...I used to dread being "expected" to serve...and now...honestly I hunger for it...I pray that for each of you as you all grow and learn the importance of a faithful life... I still love to see the way you and Thomas look at each other...clearly in love! I love the way all of your nieces and nephews get excited because Aunt Katie is coming...and I cannot wait to see you as a momma someday...you will be amazing...you have wisdom beyond your years...and a gentleness that will guide them well! I'm proud to be your momma and your friend...I'm thankful for you in my life...I love you Katie Elizabeth!

our loss...his gain!

I am writing to you as I sit beside the empty vessle of one of the greatest, kindest, and most amazing men I have ever had the honor of knowing...of loving...we...his family...have sat beside his bed for 3 days now...as he ran the last little bit of his race here on this earth...we have read scripture over him...prayed for him and sang to him...Scott even sang "power in the blood" Scott style for him last night...I didn't realize until it was almost to late that he truly was hearing us as we talked with him and whispered in his hear how precious he was to us! But last night I realized you could see his eyelids moving in response to use...when Scott came in last night he responded! Scott later left the room for a while and we were singing with him and we said Scott needed to sing power in the blood HIS way and thoses eyes responded...so we along with a few tears shed...we even had a giggle with him! Then in the wee hours of this morning...we sang a few last songs with him It is Well With my Soul...I have decided to Follow Jesus...and the last one..."Jesus Is Tenderly Calling"...and at the end of the song...our sweet Harold took his last breath...when Willie passed away a few months ago...we experinced what I would call a HOLY MOMENT...and this morning...I had the honor of being part of another one...to God be the Glory...in Harolds life and through his death...

as we wait...

We are all at the hospital waiting for Jesus to take another sweet one home...and we reminise...lots of memories...I can still see Harolds little red pickup setting outside Pleasant Grove Baptist Church...as he did what he loved to do...yard work...I remember thinking then as I just began to know this amazing man we called papa...how kind he is...he has loved Scott, my kids and myself as if we were his very own...I guess truth be told we are his...Michael would stand between JoNell and Harold in church and sing as loud as he could...(if he wasn't with them he was with maw maw!)...and when Katie came...she was his girl! I can only say how lucky thomas is that time changes things because there was a time when Katie was sure that after she grew up and married, she would still sleep between her mammy and papa and her husband could sleep beside their bed in the floor! That memory makes me smile so much! There was the time he let all the GA girls come crash in his and JoNells closet and have a slumber party...you know there aren't that many retired men who would have been OK with 12 little giggly girls and their leaders coming and crashing their house like that...but he did...with a smile the entire time! Lots of memories of birthday parties and easter egg coloring...proms and high school graduations...college graduations and weddings...babies...and Harold...like all the other grandparents was there...one of our constants...there were times I knew he was crying for our family and praying over us...as healing began to take place...times that he has looked at Scott with such admiration and pride...much like a dad would...times he has called me his girl... You know I've been blessed with 3 blessings in my life...and all three blessings have taught me so much about life...and those blessings...are my dads...my first dad...who has taught me about forgiveness and learning to appreciate another person you always thought would be there...and about not taking people always being there when you are ready for granted....then there was Tucker...the next blessing...who continues to teach me about loving like your own...I've giggled today about him finding a fence post under my car and keeping it secret so mom wouldn't KILL me! Or when he told me he couldn't give me away at my wedding b/c he understand the pain a father feels when someone else does it...that day is when I learned the character of the man my step dad was...greatness in my opinion...and then came Harold...out of the blue...a blessing I didn't expect but wouldn't trade for the world! Such a kind and gentle spirit he is! Today as I was driving to the hospital I was thinking he would soon meet the twins he and JoNell lost so many years ago...he gets to see them before her so I guess he can name them!!!! And I know he will give maw maw and willie a hug from Scott and I...and I know he will be in awe as he stands...for the rest of all eternity in the presence of Jesus... The pain we've felt this year continues to be immense...but I wouldn't trade any of those that have been in our lives and are gone now for anything...because we are better people because of each one of them...Brian, Jeremy, Poppa and Kathy...and now...as we wait for Harold to leave us too...I can say...I am a better person because I have had Harold Lawyer in my life for 25 plus years...as I sit by his bedside I think of this... Onward to the prize before us Soon His beauty we'll behold Soon the pearly gates will open We shall tread the streets of gold! When we all get to heaven what a day of rejoicing that will be when we all see Jesus We'll sing and shout the victory and JoNell reminded me of this song tonight: ...and then one day I'll cross that river I'll fight lifes final war with pain and then as death gives way to vi'tory I'll see the lights of glory and I'll know He lives Because He lives I can face tomorrow Because He lives all fear is gone Because I know He holds the future And life is worth the living just because He lives... what a glorious thought for a sweet and gentle man...who I have no doubt will immediately hear these words...well done my good and faithful servant...

Humbled

 O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed.
 
 And when I think, that God, His Son not sparing;
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;
That on the Cross, my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died to take away my sin.
 
 When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation,
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart.
Then I shall bow, in humble adoration,
And then proclaim: "My God, how great Thou art!"
 

We sang this song this week on our Mission trip...I cannot sing this sing...EVER...without going back in my mind...being a 10 year old little girl...laying on our picnic table in the back yard...singing that song or reading the words and thinking...there must be more than my child like mind could see...could understand! I know now after all these years, God was revealing Himself to a little girl who was very curious about this Creator I'd heard about at church camp!

This week has been amazing and life changing yet again. We had the honor to stand beside some truly passionate people who desire to see their neighborhoods redeemed through the sacrificial blood of Jesus Christ!

We served each day to some amazing kids, with amazing believers...we bonded together so well in order to accomplish the work the Lord had called us to Kansas City to do! We worked in a church that has many people in it who moved to the "hood"...for no other reason but to share the Gospel with the "nations". The nations have moved there to start a new life...a life that at this point is empty without the Lord...

I always thought people only did this as they moved out of our country to sacrifice...but it's not true...Living Faith Church has the heartbeat of their Savior and a passion for the lost...they have the ability to walk with a kingdom purpose in everything they do! I have come to understand that we have the same needs in our own back door...in McDonald County...the Nations are coming and we have a great opportunity...will we take it...we have hungry children who need their belly's full and the Truth share...will be feed them both ways...we have families that need the love of Jesus to give them HOPE...will we GO?

Each evening we had a time of worship and teaching. The teaching was good stuff...causing me to come out bruised each night...one evening in particular Brad Russell preached on the glory of God...He read Isaiah 42:8..."I am the Lord, that is My name; And My glory I will not give to another, Nor My praise to carved images"

I've known for a very long time that life is NOT about us...not you...and not me...it is about the Lord...but I got a picture in my head this week of what it might look like in the very throne room of God...filled with HIS glory!...God has taught me many things this week...but the biggest...how truly selfish and self seeking I am...I think at times knowingly I am...and other times I don't realize it until I've already done whatever I was doing...it was unintentional...but caused pain or a problem or just attempted to steal some of God's glory...and whether it was intentional or not...it was sin...

Matt 5:16...which was the theme verse we had a few weeks ago for our local mission trip was shared again this week..."Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven"...simply put...live for HIM so HE will be glorified...

As we sang How Great Thou Art...I got the picture of HIS GLORY...through the song...I understand there is more than I knew as a child and there is more to know...but not for ME to feel good about me or my life...for HIM...so HE will be Glorified...so HE will be exalted among the nations!

Our last devotion for the trip is this morning...our first day back and I want to share one last scripture that is in our devotions...from Psalm 85:8-9...
"I listen carefully to what God the Lord is saying, for HE speaks to His faithful people. BUT LET THEM NOT RETURN TO THEIR FOOLISH WAYS. Surely His salvation is near to those who fear HIM, SO OUR LAND WILL BE FILLED WITH HIS GLORY!

I heard a word over and over this week...intentional...may I live the rest of my days...intentional for HIS GLORY!
 

year 51

You are mine best friend! This has so far been one of the saddest years of our lives together...I find myself almost dreaded the rest of the year...but you are spurred on by the grace of the Lord.

As we opened your time capsule last night I amazed at how far we have come! How much we love one another...you know it really isn't you or me either...we finally have a picture of a Christ centered marriage and that makes love so much easier...(remind me of that when I get aggravated at you next time!).

I don't even have words to say this year...I'm so thankful we still have each other...I want to be like your mom and dad...curled up beside one another to the very end...to be like Kathy and get to a place in our lives where we can say we have no regrets...to be like Steve and Patti and go to what ever lengths it takes to tell others about Jesus...to be like you and have the passion to share Jesus in a house full of partiers knowing when I walk out they may make fun of me...to be like serve with reckless abandonment...to know if I go first none of this will change for you...and if you go first none of this will change for me!

thank you for raising our kids in a manner worthy of the gospel....thank you for being such an impact on my family....thank you for loving me on the hardest days...thank you for cheering me on! thank your serving beside me...thank you mostly for loving Jesus more than anything or anyone else...

we are blessed to call you ours...wouldn't you agree...Cassie, Heather, Michael and Katie?

I love you,
Beth

Michael

This year has been a whirlwind of change and newness and the beginning of living the rest of your life! I have the honor of stepping back as the woman in his life and the one the Lord has for him to share life with has stepped in! (I always thought that would be hard, but when the right one comes it is the natural thing and easiest thing to do!) She is an amazing young lady who loves Jesus more than she loves Michael and that will be the key to their success in life together.

You walk different, you look different, you act different...everything about you is different this year. I've never got to witness this side of love with one of my kids...it is different with the girls because they fulfill the wife side of the equation...one that is also my role so I see the submission side...the caregiver side...but now I've seen the side the man goes through...of preparing to lead a home, a wife and in the future a family. It is evident God is doing a great thing in your life and in your new beginning with Beks!

I say it every year but I'm so proud and honored to be your momma! I love you because you are mine...but I love you because you:
 
Are tenderhearted to a fault
You laugh so hard with your nephews and nieces
I see more and more of your dad in you all the time
You aggravate your sisters still like crazy but I know your would be their greatest defender still!
You are getting ready for babies of your own and it is evident!
You act "tough" at church with the kids but they all LOVE you so you must do something right!
You love your momma and I know it!
You love Beks and we all see it (yes in your eyes)...every time she walks in the room!

Praying a extra special birthday blessing over you today! I love you Michael Scott!

mom

 

and woman and her God...

We are still having those "days" as we adjust to Willie being in heaven and not here with us. Today we said yet another goodbye to a sweet soul. Again, I watched in amazement as our community poured out love on a family mourning the loss of their wife, momma, nana, daughter, sister and best friend...

She was obviously loved by so many and her family is too! She shared something with Willie...and I heard it today again...she was a GOOD person...kind and generous, compassionate and motherly...GOOD to the very core of her being...but that is NOT what has given her family the comfort they have...she knew Jesus...in a very real and very personal way...and that my sweet friends is the hope she had and that her family will cling to in the coming days!

I would share her name but it doesn't matter...most of you reading this know who I'm speaking of and if not the Lord knows her by name...I watched in amazement as her brother shared the gospel today and I'm praying that lives who are lost were changed today...not because of her...but because of her LORD!

One of the most courageous (thank you Josh for that word!) things I've ever witnessed was her son singing today flawlessly...I've been amazed at that all day long...and while I was working this afternoon it hit me how he did it...Scott asked him today at the cemetery how he did it and he said I just tried not to think to much...but I think he was able to do it b/c he was worshiping the Lord! Have you ever experienced that...watching in awe as someone is obviously worshiping in spirit and in truth? That is what we witnessed today...a holy moment...from a son...honoring his momma...and FOR HIS LORD...

Someday when my times comes...I want people to walk away from my celebration service knowing they meet with the Lord...

May those of us left...carry on the work...

Happy Father's Day

Before I start this post...they will not all be in order...that being said...to the men in my life...

The first man in my life is my Dad...he worked hard to make a living for us...we have had our share of pain and heart ache but we have come so far! I think we have finally reached a place where we know we need each other and we are learning to know one another better! Dad, thanks for all you've done for me over the years...just so you know...I wouldn't change a thing! I love you Dad!

For Tucker...the next man in my life who has loved me like his own...kept me out of trouble with mom in the early years and loved my kids! You've allowed us all the honor of watching you transform into the man of God you are now...Thank you for loving us when I know we weren't always easy to love! I love you Pawpaw!

For Harold who has also loved me like his own...you too have set an example of a loving Godly man...life wouldn't be the same without you in it...I'm thankful for you more than I say and I want you to know how much you mean to me...I love you Harold!

For Michael...while he is yet to be a dad...he has been my little man in my life and as he has grown he has stepped up to his dads boots and takes care of this momma when she needs an extra shoulder to lean on...can't wait to see what kind of a dad he will be...amazing I'm sure!

For Willie...ugh...we miss you more than words can say...I look in Scotts eyes and see a reflection of who you were as a young man...as you taught your sons what it meant to work hard...love you family and love the Lord...I think tonight I may be most thankful for you because you and Linda raised the man I have now...you planted seeds that God has grown...and the world is a better place because of this man I call mine...that you raised! Tomorrow will be sad without you...looking at cards today was yucky because you should be getting one...but know this...we will be rejoicing as we worship the Lord in the morning...knowing that you have the honor and the privilege of being in the presence of the One True Father...what a Father's Day for YOU...we love you Pops!

and finally for my sweet loving husband...thank you for loving me when no one else would have...for walking beside my healing process...for holding my hand...for opening my car door...for not just being the father of our kids...but for being their daddy...for being my best friend...for loving me at my fattest...and encouraging me on this journey without belittling me...for loving Jesus like no one I've ever witnessed before...for allowing me the honor of watching this transformation the Lord continues to do in your life...for sharing Jesus even in the dark days of losing your own dad...for praying when the words were almost more than you could grown...for being you...I love you!

God gives good things...

What a week of emotions! We are not done yet...but we have come up for air for just a little bit! When we lose people we love we are reminded again of 2 things I think...how short life is...and how much we take one another for granted if we don't be careful!

This week we lost my father in law...a man who has spent his life...serving the Lord and serving others...first and foremost his family...but in the middle of our grief God gave a special day of celebration as another family starts their new and fresh. Michael finally got his girl!

I've been looking thru their wedding pictures this morning and came across this one and I am still amazing that God trusted me to be their momma!

They all are a blessing to my life...as a group...but then, as individuals, who have a place that only that ONE can fill...I think at times each one of them has felt maybe they didn't fit...some because of birth order, some because of distance...some because they didn't add up to what they thought they were suppose to be...and yet as I stare at this picture and think...how would I be able to take a breath in the morning if one of them was not there...you each have your dynamic you bring to what makes us...us! Cassie brings the hand on the shoulder that attempts to steady us all...not that she can because that only comes from the Lord...but she tries...I remember last year when she was still in FL and Heather lost her father in law...the hardest thing for Cassie was that she couldn't be her to touch Heather...to help her feel steady...but I know her hands couldn't touch her sister then...but I KNOW her knees hit the floor for her sister and she took the needs to the ONE who steadies us all! Heather brings the (first) strong will to our family...and though she didn't show it daily...she did have that...and now I see what a blessing that is! You see when you are strong willed...no one can change your mind...as you grow into adulthood...when you begin to grasp what you believe...and what is truly important in life...that strong will is your life line...she has taught me that...I think she has even shown me how to have my own strong will...she is the anchor when trials come...Michael brings laughter...which is good...but you have to remember when he was little his momma didn't know how to laugh...he has taught us all to laugh...and at times still drives us bananas...but we always know it's because he loves to laugh...and he thinks...come one people...it's funny...(girls can't you just hear him...) "that's funny!"...and now we get to see him with laughter as his wife begins life with him...and Katie...Heather said it best years ago when she said...Katie is her 6th grade hero...Katie brings faith from the cradle to us...mind you we all have our faith now...but none (I think they would all agree) of us have had the faith she has had from almost her first breath...the greatest blessing of all of this is...God made them the way they are...each one of pushed at times against HIS hands but each has yielded their lives to Him and are allowing Him to form them in to the men and the women they continue to become...they have each taken a life partner that is allowing the Lord to work in their lives as well...making families that are strong and faithful...and that my friends is what life is all about...

and IF you don't believe me...join us tomorrow for Poppas goodbye...because I have no doubt in my mind that you will walk away from that church tomorrow knowing a man who left a legacy behind...a man who yielded to the Lord...loved his family and is with his Jesus right now...I know that each one of our family was emotional yesterday at church because we were overwhelmed with the thought that Willie was worshiping Jesus face to face on his first Sabbath in heaven...

Michael

The day has finally arrived! I'm so happy for you...I've watched you for many years...with your skills as a craftsman and your ability to make a yard look so amazing and thought in that aspect you would make such a great husband...but it goes beyond that...I see a man who has learned to love his Lord with a gentle and quiet spirit and yet with great passion...because I live with a man like that...I know there is nothing greater than to have a husband like that!

I have so many things I wish I could do over...you know that...I've said it more than I really should have...but I'm so thankful for your forgiveness...and two times in particular you gently have shown me you truly have forgiven...when you sang my song you wrote me...and when you came and got me last year during the youth led service and prayed with me...God allowed me to experience those 2 times with you and they are forever etched in my mind! I know we have both had our struggles with issues in our lives...and I also know that all sin is level at the foot of the cross...but as humans we think one is worse than another...you and I understand forgiveness in it's most grace filled form!

I can't wait to see the look on your face when those doors open today and your bride walks into your arms...I'm so proud of you...and as much as I wish we could both change some choices...I truly wouldn't change anything because God used that to make Himself real to us...and to lavish us with grace and to teach us what redemption looks like...

Happy, happy wedding day...I love you and wish a lifetime of happiness with the Beks!

love,
mom

Poppa

Your wife and your children tell the whole picture...the love and care we have witnessed in the past 3 years in Linda has went beyond amazing...she has shown us a picture completely of a Proverbs 31 woman. As I watched your children...all 7 of them, carry you out last night all I could think of is what a legacy you have left behind. 7 men and women who will make this world better...because you made this world better and you taught them how to do the same!

So thank you from this "extra" one you gained 31 years ago...
thank you for accepting each of us extras!
for the example you have been to us all,
for the husband you taught mine to be...because of that...I'm blessed more than I can say in words!
for the son and brother you allowed us to witness in you
for the provider you have been
for the grandfather you have been...all the tears in those kids eyes last night are a testimony to the kind of Grandfather you are!

One person told me last night you said you were suppose to be the head of your home...take care of your family...you did that! You (with a help from Linda too!)...equipped them for this life...We all are better because of you!

I've never heard this before but saw it just this morning and thought it so fitting...

"When you are born you cry and the world rejoices. Live your life so that when you die you rejoice and the world cries."

Michael starts his new life with Bekah in 3 days and we will rejoice because we know you are with us...Scott has carried your legacy...and I have now doubt Michael will do the same...he is the man he is today not only because of his dad...but because of you...

My girls adore you as well...and so I just want to say thank you one last time for letting me see my first picture of not just a good man...but a godly man...rest well and worship before the throne even better!

Life...

I've been thinking about this post in my head for many days now...lots of things are going on in our lives at this point and I'm trying to appreciate each thing...the good and the bad...understanding that life moves continually...at times in direction that are very exciting and other times in a direction that scares the snot out of us! But it still goes...we want it to slow down...to wait on our timing and yet it refuses...

Our oldest grandson, Ayden, asked Jesus to live in his heart a few weeks ago and we got to witness his baptism this past weekend...it was an amazing feeling to see another generation desiring to follow hard and fast after Jesus...As they moved away 4 years ago I knew I'd have a difficult time missing birthdays and other special holidays with them...but my fear of never seeing such an amazing time in their lives broke my heart...so being able to be present was an extra special bonus for my heart to witness...his daddy had to honor of baptising him and the look on Jesse's face was priceless!

Our sweet Laney Kate just turned one yesterday! She is something else! When Camden was born I thought he will never really know me...and he does...I think he is even crazy about his grammy most of the time...I even had then same fear with little Laney...and she too...likes me I think....and I KNOW she knows who I am...she will not say grammy but she looks for me when her momma ask where I am...she lites up a room with her sweet smile...she shares that with Landon...when he smiles at you it's like you are the only person in the entire room!

Michael will be a married man in just 10 more days! I can't even find the words for this one...so very happy for him and Bekah...and excited!

We have people in our lives that are struggling with life right now...on many different levels...and want to desperately to say something that will make it better for them but...the words...they aren't there...and so what do you say, or do or how do you help? Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life...that is how we make it...so I pray that for them...He isn't A way or A truth or A life but He is THE way, THE truth and THE life...and somehow we get up each morning and we take a breath and we face...life before us...whether it is the cancer we face, the fear we face or just the knot that is in our stomach...and we take another breath and another...then we notice that in all the hardness this life has to offer there is good...and there is beauty...in the smiles of our children or the color of the bluest sky...or a pretty freshly bloomed flower...and somehow...before we know it...the breaths come and we didn't even notice them being hard to take...

As I close my eyes I see the faces of many people today...facing challenges that we never thought we'd face...from a simple as our kids growing up...to has hard as we can ever imagine...but behind those faces just beyond them I see color...greens and blues and yellows and pink and purples and I know that God is real and He is still on His throne and He IS GOOD even when life is hard...and I have hope...Romans 12 :12 say, "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer"...so cling to the hope...know there is color amongst the gray and when we have no words...and lets be real most of the time we don't...be a faithful prayer warrior...

Heather Michelle

Wow...I continue to stand amazed at how fast the years have gone...I didn't believe that saying when I was in the middle of raising our 4 kiddos...I was just trying to teach them to somehow survive me...and yet here I am on the other side of those days...and we have another birthday...today is Heathers 29th birthday! I promise when I wake up in the morning it STILL feels like I should go and made sure they are all up and getting ready for school...

If I thought you were reading this today and you didn't have the privilege of knowing Heather...I'd have to say she is a funny woman who loves life, her family and above all the Lord...she is a good momma who isn't afraid to make messes with her kids...making sweet memories with them along the way...she is a person who I think at times is like her momma and has a hard time forgiving herself...but like her dad in the fact that she appreciates family so much! She loves her husband and has a desire to serve the Lord beside him for the rest of their days...she lights up when the Lord teaches her something new and can't wait to share that new found lesson with anyone willing to hear it! She has made some sweet friends along her journey called life and lights up when she talks of them as well...

This year has been a hard year for her and her family as they had to say goodbye to someone very dear to them all...she has walk beside Donnie as he said goodbye to his dad....beside Rylee and Caleb as they said goodbye to their pawpaw and was like a mother hen as she stood beside and over her mother in law has she had to say the hardest goodbye of all...to her husband...Heather did this with the strength of the Lord...I've stood amazed at the strength and character she has shown through this hard year...

She has entered her classroom this year with a new and fresh perspective...with a desire to be more positive and a revived knowledge that she has divinely been placed in the lives of these students and their parents for a kingdom purpose...

I pray today she feels so loved and appreciated...may we all learn the lessons she has this year...that family is precious...and we are blessed to be a part of ours...and we are also blessed to have her...I love you Sis...

love,
Mom

A-M-A-Z-I-N-G...morning...

I had the most amazing quiet time with the Lord yesterday morning and I just now FINALLY got a chance to set a write about it...whether anyone every reads this or not I want to write these because I know there will come a day that I will need to be reminded of this lesson the Lord is teaching me...

I started a new study last week called "Stuck" by Jennie Allen. I was working on it yesterday and I came to a question..."Do you love God?' and I answered yes because that is true I do love Him...however, I could hear Him as clear as day whispering in my ear...yes I know you do...but Lori, do you TRUST Me? I don't know if I've ever really thought that out or walked that out...I was dumb founded that God would speak so clearly to me and scared to answer the question really...you know? Because...if I were honest probably not in all areas of my life...then the most amazing thing happened...I turned the page in my workbook and this is a portion of what I found...

...and in asking us to do this, God is asking us...

DO YOU TRUST ME?....(do you think He was getting my attention...if He didn't have my full attention on page 43 He FOR SURE had it now on page 44...)

Do you trust Me when I ask you to step out on a limb?
Do you trust Me when what I'm asking cost you something?
Do you trust Me when obeying Me is excruciating?

I've taught over the years...do we let God have access to all areas of our lives...the hidden places...where we hid our sin we want to hang on to, or we choose to hang on to...or the room that is our special place...and if you lived my life...you'd think I deserved that place too...just to let your hair down...relax...again we deserve it...

But what God spoke to my heart yesterday was more than that...the first thing that came to my mind was Scott and my family...God asking me do you trust Me with them...believe that I know what is best for them and I've only loaned them to you...

You understand that by saying I trust Him...that means no matter what happens...I will trust Him...do I...can I...

well...I believe I can...I want to...I will choose to walk this trust thing out...learning each day to trust Him more and more...Don't get me wrong, there are areas in my live that I already do TRUST HIM!!!...but there are other areas that I want to keep a tight hold on and say...Lord it's Ok...we're good...He doesn't desire that...He doesn't deserve that...

Jesus said that He came to give life and to give it abundantly in John 10:10...I will never experience this abundant life Jesus came to give to ME...if I don't trust Him with everything in my life and all OF my life...so today is a fresh new day...as I begin a journey of Trust...

I think maybe I'll be humming this song today...

Tis So Sweet To Trust In Jesus...

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
Just to know "Thus saith the Lord"

Chorus:

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!

O how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
Just in simple faith to plunge me
"Neath the healing, cleansing flood!

Yes, 'tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace.

I'm so glad I learned to trust Him,
Precious Jesus, saviour, friend;
And I know that He is with me,
Will be with me to the end.

I pray you learn to trust Him as well! What an amazingly mightly God we serve!


 

...no to us...but to YOUR name be the glory...

Today Scott and I celebrate 31 years of marriage! I am so thankful the Lord gave me this man that I have shared life with. Life has been so hard at times we thought we might not survive and so sweet at other times that I would find myself wanting time to stand still so we can just stay in the moment!

Some of my favorite moments over the last 31 years...our first summer together of marriage...until now...that was all the alone time we had...sweet memories...the look in his face right after we were married and I was so sick...all I saw was love and concern and I still see it!...the look on his face as we discovered we were pregnant (each time!)...our drive to the hospital with baby number 1...it was a good excuse for him to drive like a stock car racer!!! After Cassie was born...he made a stand with me...he told me, you can come to church if you want...but Cassie and I are going...I want my kids in church...this was the first time I knew how serious he was about this "church thing"...watching him learn to call heather, heather and not michelle...was quite funny...but you probably had to be there to understand that...maybe that is why he just called her sis!...the look on his face when we saw michael was...a boy!!!...then the looked for months afterward on his face as Michael screamed if his dad tried to have anything to do with him...looking out the window and seeing all 3 of them working beside him on the weekend...stacking wood...thinking they were all such big helpers!...one day he said...but I thought YOU wanted another baby...I said well I thought YOU wanted another one...so we better be CAREFUL...oops to late...and along came Katie...and I think even her siblings would agree with us when I say life would have been just a little boring without our Katie!...his face as he baptized Cassie...the only one he had that honor to do...there was an event that happened in his life that God used to make him serious about the Lord and the message of the Gospel...watching him go to the house of one of his friends on a friday night...knowing the house would be full...and what was going to be going on...and sharing with that friend the Gospel...that friend as far as we know still doesn't know the Lord...but I KNOW that friend has great respect for Scott still to the day...because he knew Scott was being REAL and sincere...that was a turning point in the life of Scott...never to be the same again...the look on his face the day I was saved...the period of time we both learned what a relationship with the Lord really looked like...it goes way beyond...church and church activities and responibilities...it is everyday...we walked that journey together...the "time of hell" in our home...a time I caused but he loved me thru it...still after all these years amazed at that...thankful to the Lord and to Scott that we came out the otherside...bruised and battered but still standing...together...and I think stronger...the day he told me Jesse ask him the "question"...and the day Donnie and sis came to us...and the giggles we have gotten from the the day Thomas finally got around to asking the "questions"...thankful that we have 3 godly son in laws we call our own...and that they all respected us enough to come to us...the look in his eyes as he gave each of his girls away...as he has held each of our newborn grandbabies...and not to long ago with all of the 5 older ones on the four wheeler with him...the pride I see in his eyes as he looks at the man Michael has become...and the way he gives Bekah a hard time...makes me know she is truly one of us!!!!

He loves to joke, pick and play...he brings joy to so many...not just me...he is a good man and I love him so much!

I have ww tonight so last night he made me dinner as we drank ice water from our "fancy" glasses...he got me some flowers and a sweet gift...but more than anything...I find that we just enjoyed our time together...talking...learning about each other still...learning to be just the two of us...I remember there was a time we BOTH were scared to death of that coming day...because all we ever talked about were the kids...so what would be talk about when they were gone???...but we talk...we listen...we are learning...and you know what we kind of like it!!!!

Happy anniversay to the kindest man I know...thank you for loving the Lord more than me...because that allows you to love me the way it is suppose to be....thank you for being "excited" for a baptist...thank you for hoopin' and hollarin' when a salvation takes place...when a life is changed...for rockin' beside me in church every sunday...for giving me 4 amazing kids...for sharing Mikeah, Amy and Gastoe with me...here is to our future...may be have another 31 together...I love you

Beth

Cassie...

Well the dreaded day is here in just a few hours!!!! The big 30 for you this year and we won't even talk about what is number is coming my way this year! I cannot believe you are 30 years old...I know you are amazed at how fast the years are going with your own children...you get just a glimpse of how fast they are going for me!

Last night I spent the FIRST night alone ever in my entire life I think...no husband...no kids...not even any grandkids to keep this old grammy company...a picture of our future with everyone out on their own now...and it seems that I should be yelling at you guys telling you to get to bed and get to sleep you have school the next tomorrow and you won't want to get up...but then I realized that somewhere along in there...I blinked...ALOT...because you not only are grown but raising kids of your own!!!!

I've said it before but I'll say it just one more time...you have amazed me this year how you have supported your husband...stayed faithful to the Lord...desired for the boys and now Laney Kate to see Jesus beyond anything else in this world...I know you don't know it...but there are many people who see this in you and admire the christian woman, wife, mom, friend, daugther and sister you are...I tease you because I think someday when they are grown the kids will make fun of you because you made them say the happy heart thing...just like you all tease me about the "in light of eternity does this matter" thing...but I also think they will be glad you taught them that just like I believe over all you guys are glad we used those words on you!...but you live that out...in light eternity the character you show WILL make a difference in the lives of those who are watching and those you are walking with...in light of eternity you make a difference...keep it up!

I love you so much...so thankful you are home again...for a season of however long...I'll take it...I'll soak it up and I'll attempt to never take you or your siblings for granted again!

I pray you feel how loved you are today...your special day from every single directions...from the Lord...Jess, the kiddos...family and your sweet friends...