as your students call you...Miss

I'm so very sorry I'm late with this! Sometimes I struggle with the words to write and it takes me a few days. But I wanted to wish you the very best birthday week! Thank you for being one of my rocks this past year. For asking in just a very subtle way on "those" days if I was ok. All you kids have been so great this past year even as you navigate your own grief. 

I know I say it all the time but if truly feels like it's been forever since all 4 of you guys were still here...at home with dad and I...and yet I can close my eyes and still see us as if it was yesterday! Does that even make sense?

I can still see the other 3 kids loving on you at the hospital, Michael singing K K K Katie, beautiful Katie...Cassie and Heather being so proud to show off their baby sister to their teachers and friends at school...Watching the old ladies at the bank about drop their teeth because I'd let Michael pick you up and carry you around...(and I let him just to see their reactions...it was HILARIOUS!!) The way nanny, mammy and Aunt Brenda made fools of themselves over you...and yet here we are...all these just sweet memories as I watch you make memories with your own sweet kiddos. 

I see so much of you in both of the kiddos...Journie's tender heart is from you and Barrett's quick wit is you! Their child like faith in the Lord is what we saw in you from such a young age...and yet I know they can't "inherit" that from you...it's taught...it's lived out before them...so thankful you...and your siblings have a passion to do just that with all 12 grands. 

I'm continuing to learn just how truly blessed we are as a family! I know dad and I both take that for granted way more than we should...we should understand that it is a gift...a gift of grace in all our lives...and I don't say that because of any past anything...I say that because we are a sinful people who live in a sinful world...and yet God...in His greatness and love have called us...and we continue to pray for those littles who haven't made that decision yet that God's saving grace will be upon them.

I think back to the essay Heather wrote about you during college..."My 6th grade hero" she worded you perfectly and I'm thankful to be able to say you are also one...9 heros in my life too! 

I love you so much...

Momma