52 weeks

I've dreaded this day all week long...52 weeks without you...But this morning as I started driving to another grandkid's event...everything was covered with a heavy, heavy frost...it looked like a winter wonderland. I found myself thinking about how long and hard winter can be...but it can also be so beautiful...and I though of you, pawpaw...how this past year has felt a bit like winter...but there is beauty in the sadness...

For me, the sadness comes for all the missing I feel...miss just seeing your face...seeing you laugh with that little hand clap you'd do when something tickled you! Or how you'd brag about how smart one of the grands would do something you thought was funny and smart! Sadness in 52 weeks of not seeing your smiling face greeting me at church...and getting to hug you and tell you I love you...

But then there's the beautiful side of it! You have been in the very presence of Jesus for 365 days...the thought of that gives me such wonder and joy all at the same time! I know it's okay to miss you and to talk about you and remember you but I also know it's okay to be joyful for all that you have witnessed the past 365 days...the joy you must feel...the worship you must be experiencing...the fact that all your tears have been wiped away. 

So we start year 2 now...but I'll hold on to the sweet memories you gave me over the 40 years you were in my life...and I'll smile when I remember something funny you said...and I'll praise the Lord that you are with Him...worshipping...and I find myself wondering if you get to be one of the ones who welcomes the new ones...not real sure how all that works...I think Jesus WELCOMES us...but you can greet them! No one did it better here!!! Love you paw paw so much!