Sunday, March 1, 2015

Out of darkness out of shame

Not real sure how to start today...words are rolling around my head like crazy today...I experienced something last night between me and the Lord that I'm not sure I've ever really experienced before...and for a while I lost my way...and I forgot how to let God do the work needed in my life at that point...I've been trying for months and months to overcome in my flesh...crying out to the Lord for Him to help me...to do it...I told Scott last night...I know I CANNOT do this...God has to do it...but how...how do I let Him do it...how do we let go enough to allow Him to heal us...change us and make us into who He desires us to be...I had some amazing people just pouring scripture into me last night...the Lord gave me some additional ones...I knew it was all truth...but that stupid 12 inches from my head to my heart was a very LONG way last night...I wept over the truths I was seeing in His word...and while I felt lost in a very dark place...I could cling to hope...to that little bitty light that never every left me...that tiny flicker...penetrated the darkness...

Before I write more today I want to tell you why I'm writing...there was a Christian group several years ago by the name of Watermark. They got their name from the watermarks they had seen on houses after flood waters had gone down. There are times and experiences, heartaches and tragedies  that make a mark on our lives and it is important to be able to go back and see those times...to be reminded...not of our failures...or even our own successes...but to see where God was and is...and the grace, mercy and victories He gives us...not because we deserve them...but simply because He loves us...He loves you...and He loves me...I love being reminded of those times...like this one...http://grammyshomepage.blogspot.com/2009/11/isnt-god-amazing.html

So today is a new day...there is snow on the ground...when I opened my eyes it was bright in our room...the light was evident...in my flesh I could just say...OK last night is over and that is that...but the TRUTH is, a battled started last night...I cannot get up today and pretend it is over...mind you, a victory WAS had last night but there is more fighting to do...as I opened the word this morning...the very first answer, to so many questions running through my mind, was revealed to me...it was the statement I told Scott last night...how do I let go and let the Lord do this in me...through HIS WORD!!!! That is how...it is alive...it is LIFE TRANSFORMING...it speaks to mankind...and it speaks to my individual heart...oh the things He said to me just this morning...

Just a few truths He said to me this morning...I hope you find hope in them as well...

John 10:27 My sheep listen to My voice...I heard Him last night...He was calmly reminding me of truths over the screams of the enemy of my soul...and the choice now...hear it...claim it...trust it...cling to it...rest in it...

One of my most favorite places in the Bible is Exodus 14:13...I love this promise...(read it...it is sooo good!!!)...but that promise is in the Word again...2 Chronicles 20:17...thank you Jesus!!!! These verses go with another favorite of mine that God has used many times in my life...Psalm 46:10...Lord continue to teach me to be still...and to KNOW...

Deut. 32:10...as a child of the one true King we are called the apple of His eye...and again in Zechariah 2:8-my Bible notes says this..."this is speaking of the pupil...a delicate part of the eye essential for vision...therefore must be protected AT ALL COST",,,I'd say Christ laying His life down...was AT ALL COST...

I was encouraged to write Philippians 4:6-7 down today (and the next many coming days) then make a list of 25 things I have to be thankful for...so here is the scripture and list number 1:

Do NOT be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God and the peace of God which transcends all understanding WILL guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus...

1. I am a child of the One True KING
2. Scott loves me
3. 4 kids that survived me and came out somehow still loving Jesus...to the point they desire to serve Him
4. 6 beautiful grandchildren I adore
5. friends-true friends that love me and I love them
6. a Bible I can read and through the power of the Holy Spirit I can understand
7. those teens I love to teach
8. ladies Bible study-whether I'm teaching or not
9. being a part of EBC all of it...then entire 24...almost 25 years...
10. Scott's support
11. God's provisions
12. my job
13. ministry opportunities
14. my children in laws...Jesse, Donnie, Thomas and Miss Beks
15. a home God paid for and provided
16. Sofia and Sasha
17. Country life and living
18. my health
19. weight watchers
20. Jenna Buettemeyer
21. online daily Bible reading I'm doing this year
22. Conviction
23. JD and Heather
24. Jim and Kim
25. Jesus

I will be doing this for the next however many days...

I know this is a lot...but that is because God has a HUGE mess and a HUGE job with me...I will see this in a year and be blown away by the healing and love He is pouring down on me...but I hope and I pray that just maybe someone else who reads this will see the hope that I was reminded of last night...

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